Let's stick with the drinking category:
What is the most pretentious drink a person can order at the bar?
Yesterday's: If you posted, you're a winner (except for Matty). Here's my (lit heavy) list:
F. Scott Fitzgerald - This man is part of the reason why "we're going to drink like it's prohibition" is a viable phrase.
E. A. Poe - duh
Jim Morrison - Mr Mojo Risin...also duh
Van Gogh - A fan of the Green Fairy
Stephen Crane
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17 comments:
There's got to be a more pretentious drink than this one, but I can't seem to think of one right now. In the meantime, I'm gonna have to say it's the drink my mother orders anytime she goes out:
a Tanqueray martini up with a twist
She's hard core like that...
The most pretentious drink I can think of is Courvoisier on the rocks or Cristal. Nothing says "nouveau riche rapper" or "white frat boy trying to be black" more than these drinks. (Interesting fact: Truman Capote was a huge Cristal fan, also a big fag, and wrote about it in "Answered Prayers." And Napoleon is said to have loooved the Courvoisier. But I digress.)
After that it's a tie between a gimlet (four parts gin and one part lime juice) and a sidecar (equal parts brandy, Cointreau, and lemon juice.) These drinks, however, have more of an "old money, smoking cigars while wearing loafers and counting your $100s" effect.
Wine. If you are drinking out of a wine glass in a bar, you are stupid. However, if you are drinking out of a wine BOTTLE, you are cool.
A shaken martini.
Now don’t get me wrong martinis are good, heaven sent even. If catholic school taught me anything, it was to love a good martini. However, I must say that the most pretentious drink one can order is a shaken martini. When someone orders a shaken martini, he attempts to gasp a shred of coolness that is only attainable by James Bond. This is what is messed up about him. Shaken, not stirred, will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. The reason you stir it with a fancy spoon is to not chip the ice. Bond is ordering a weak martini and being pretentious about it. Which is only acceptable by James Bond. So if any normal person ordered said drink, he would get water accompanied by the very really chance that he would introduce himself to them girl of the night as Bond, James Bond.
The End.
Jack and coke
Because then your trying to be like me, and frankly, you just can't pull it off.
Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred. Let's face it, if you order that at a bar you'd better be a badass because Sean Connery might come use his license to kill if you don't deserve the drink. You want to drink like Bond? You'd better be able to back it up and have no fewer than 13 beautiful women dying to go home with you.
Champagne! Nothing says class like a flute of vintage Dom Pérignon. And for extra snob bonus points, Fraise de Champagne (champagne, creme de fraise de bois, and cognac). Something that is that hard to pronounce has got to be pretentious. Plus, it's French....and you know those French.
also, regarding the drunken five. 'Jim Morrison is a drunken buffoon posing as a poet...'
That was an awesome line. I like the Doors music, but Morrison was overrated and Ray Manzarek is a douchebag.
Agreed. And Hemingway sucks. I know the discussion is pretentious drinks, but talk about a pretentious drunk. Don't even get me started on his self-serving, masturbatory writing.
The Mint Julep.
Good luck getting one of these at T's Pub, or anywhere else north of the Mason-Dixon Line. The main ingredients in this southern cocktail are bourbon, mint, sugar, and crushed/shaved ice, and it is traditionally served in a silver or pewter cup, held only at the top or bottom to preserve the frost on the outside of the container.
The Kentucky Derby once sold a limited number of $1,000 Mint Juleps for charity, which featured authentic Kentucky bourbon, mint from Morocco, ice from the Arctic Circle and sugar from the South Pacific. It was served in a gold plated cup with a silver straw. Granted, it was for charity, but how empty does someone's life have to be where they're ordering a drink like that? "Wow, this really is the best ice I've ever tasted."
Honorable Mention: The Cosmopolitan.
Just what I need to see at the bar is some broad, who thinks she's hot, ordering a drink because it's "pretty" and because everyone on "Sex and the City" would order them. Plus, most don't even know what's in it. Our good friend, Jay MacMore once asked a girl what was in her drink, and she replied, "Cosmo mix and ice."
Nicole...I don't know you, but don't knock Hemingway. You're in no position. Yesterday's question was looking for Top 5 Famous Alcoholics, and I chose Hemingway in my 5. You chose nobody.
In no way do I dispute that Hemingway was a "Top Alcoholic." In fact I agree with you, he would also be in my list of "alcoholics" had I not been in meetings all day and was therefore unable to answer yesterday's question. My comment today was one of literary opinion and NOT a response to your choice. I think Hemingway's writing is pretentious, self-serving and misogynistic. And I AM in a position where I can say that. Because it's my opinion.
Uh oh...it's getting heated.
Hemingway is a pretentious drunk, but not EA Poe. See http://lit-critter.blogspot.com/2007/11/starting-my-literature-criticism-blog.html
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