Phoebe Loves cock

Today's question:

Who are your all-time top five famous alcoholics? Your favorite sauced-up celebrities of all time?

Yesterday's winner: I have to thank Becca for the question and give her a nod for purple headed yogurt slinger, but the fact of the matter is that, for reasons beyond explanation, I just have to give it to Phoebe.

Phoebes:

Female:
Best ever: Axe wound. Double bonus for "bloody."

Also notable:
Comedy points for "cooter."
Personal favorite: taint. Where did that even come from (other than Dane Cook)?

Male:
I'm fairly sure this will come back to haunt me some day, but I'll say it anyway: I love "cock." (ha, cock; especially when substituted in to form the word "recockulous.")

And a notable mention for the sacred union of the two:

"hotdog" down a "hallway"

Becca's request

What is the best ever slang term for genitalia?

Yesterday's winner: Martina

the best thing about shark week? ummm...lets see...EVERYTHING!
Summer television, for lack of better word, blows. But when I'm bored and have nothing to do, there's usually nothing on tv that can truly grab my interest. that is until 'Shark Week.' You're generally garaunteed something juicy. It's like watching 'Jaws' only real and without the bad acting (ok, the cheesy reenactments can be pretty bad, but that just adds the novelty).
Basically, I want to see teeth, blood, and carnage. Mother nature at its most ruthless brutality. Shark Week allows us to remember that we're not that invincible and all powerful, especially in the presence of a great white. shark week ruuuules.

I saw horseshoe crabs having sex this weekend

Yes, on my trip to the Cape this weekend, we walked in on two horseshoe crabs getting down out on the sandbar.

What is the best thing about Shark week on the Discovery Channel?

Last Winner: As much as I love all of these wonderful words, I've gotta give it to Nick with a nod to O-Train who also chose it. Let's face it, I'll say fuck in front of my parents, I'll say shit in front of my parents, and on certain warranted occasions, I'll admit it, I've jokingly called my mom a bitch, but I don't think I would ever say cunt in front of my parents.

With apologies to fuck and motherfucker, words that entered my vocab in about fifth grade and truly changed my life for the better, I have to say 'cunt' is the best profane word in existence.

Fuck still possesses the ability to surprise, but nothing can draw a reaction like dropping cunt somewhere in a conversation. Refer to a woman as a cunt, and you've gone even further than calling her a heinous bitch, you're going for the throat. As the Charlestown Chiefs' Morris Wanchuk eloquently stated about a female soap opera character that had sold a guy's shit out from under him while he was in a coma, "That cunt is no good."

In America, cunt has retained its spot as the least used of the profanities, and it's dirtiness really inspires me. To date, I'd say it's the one profanity I'll ever pause (occasionally) before I say. But my god do I love to say it. The blunt force of cunt rolling off your tongue is a special thrill, especially knowing how destructive it can be.

mmm....cunt.

Apologies for no question yesterday, there were only a few responses and I was otherwise detained.

What is the best piece of profanity known to man?

Yesterday's: Matty with an honorable mention to Cama.

Matty:
Super Mario Bros. is by far the greatest video game movie ever. John Leguizamo as Luigi, Bob Hoskins as Mario, and who could forget the beautiful Samantha Mathis as Princess Toadstool. Top it off with Dennis Hopper as King Koopa and that might be the best cast ever up until The Departed (ok, that's a stretch, but it is a pretty awesome cast).
And if you really want to put this cast into perspective and think about the hilarity of them playing these characters, consider that Hoskins has been Nikita Kruschev and Smee, Leguizamo has been Toulouse-Latrec and Tybalt, and Mathis was in Lost and American Psycho. Needless to say, Super Mario Bros was the height of their acting careers (ok, maybe not, but it's still a fucking awesome movie and the BEST. VIDEO GAME MOVIE. EVER.)


Cama:
Tron. They are IN the video game. This movie fucked with my head so much because I never quite got it, never really understood what was going on, but instead just stared open-mouthed at the screen. I couldn't tell you what the movie was about other than that they were IN the game. Also, one time when our band director was out sick, he had us watch Tron in his absence, and I could never quite understand why. Add to all that the awesomeness of the 80s, and you've got one hell of a video game-themed movie.

I personally have to go for 1989's "The Wizard" starring Fred Savage, Christian Slater, and Jeff Bridges' (star of Tron) nobody brother Beau. That kid was awesome at videogames. I wanted to be him. I kinda still do.

Yea, but in the play she's only two weeks from being fourteen

A few loose ends to tie up:
- Nick, I couldn't agree with you more about Linda with dark hair. Che bella.
- Matty, your girlfriend does look about Juliet's age, I've gotta give you that one.
- Becca, I love you too. What else would I think about when I'm feeling intellectual?

Today's question:

I'm feeling much less intellectual today. Let's go movies and videogames, because I'm suffering videogame withdrawal since my x-box broke. All time best videogame related movie?

Things to consider:
This could be a movie that involves videogames in some way or other, or that is based explicitly upon a videogame.

Yesterdays Winners: I've gotta go with one winner from each side of the discussion and one overall runner-up. Nick and Becca with a nod to Cama.

Nick said...

Lady Macbeth. She'd have my back, plot to kill my rival and then we'd fuck on his throne when he's gone. Murdering bitches have to be a good lay...all kinds of desperation and kinkiness and shit.

PS) Isn't Juliet like 13? Chris Hansen may be just around the corner, Matty.

I'm just sayin.

Becca said...

When Ray is feeling intellectual, he asks what great literary character we want to shag. Fantastic. This is why we're friends.


Puck is my top choice, for various reasons. Most of all, so many of the male characters in Shakespeare's plays come with way too much emotional baggage. All this pining for women and dealing with a haunted pasts is just too much for me. Puck is the quintessential bad boy, more intelligent than many other Shakespeare characters, and probably just a little kinky. Also, being a fairy, he probably managed to avoid all of those nasty diseases going around at the time the plays were set. All in all, the best option for a good time.

Nicole said...

Puck. Kinky fairy sex in the woods. This is my kind of puck fuck. He's mischievous, so you know he'll be fun. And let's just pretend he's not fairy-sized, or better yet, I'm fairy-sized. Plus, his name is Puck, and like I always say, "If you can't sleep with a hockey player.. sleep with a puck."

Honorable mention: Othello. Jungle fever baby.

And just in case you were interested, I think I've gotta go with Cordelia from King Lear. I have no explanation, but that's who I'm going for, Cordelia.

feeling intellectual

I'm feeling intellectual today:

It's a borderline opinion question, but I want to ask it anyway, so "winners" will be determined based upon quality of the answer more than personal bias. If you could only choose one, what Shakespearean character would you sleep with?

Things to consider: Ignore that whole "female parts used to be played by young boys thing" and just think of female characters as being females, and male characters as being males.

Yesterday's winner: Cardamone, you had me at Linda Cardellini. Love Freaks and Geeks and Arrested Development. Seeing as it comes so highly recommended by you, i might even have to check out the wire.

Nick:

1. People were too stupid to watch Freaks and Geeks and it was canceled after only one brilliant season. The show launched Linda Cardellini (now on ER), Busy Phillips (eventually on Dawson's Creek), Jason Segel (How I met Your Mother, Jason in Knocked Up), Martin Starr (Martin in Knocked Up) and perhaps most importantly since he starred in the funniest movie of the summer (Knocked Up) and then wrote the other funniest (Superbad), Seth Fucking Rogen.

Show had heart, it was hilarious and it was the best show about high school ever.

2. Arrested Development got cancelled because Americans are too stupid to grasp it's brilliance.

3. The Wire, which is the greatest TV show ever, and this year aired the best season it's ever had, was nominated for zero Emmys, most likely because it doesn't get huge ratings (America being stupid again), it's set in Baltimore (anywhere other than LA or NY need not apply, unless it's a soap opera set in a Seattle hospital) and it's thought of as a black show, which as much as we as white people may not like it, still is an enormous factor in America. American white people can't really watch black actors and characters doing something other than being gangsters, and while that's an element of The Wire, it's the surface of the show, not what it's really about).

Basically, the general public is too stupid to appreciate TV that's more than TV, it's legitimate art, unless it's about mobsters (and even then, most people really didn't have a fucking clue what was going on in The Sopranos...they just wanted to see greaseballs whack each other.)

Hitler has been reincarnated as a fish

Barring anything reality tv related, what is the worst thing to happen to television in the past ten years or so?

Yesterday's: I've gotta go O-Train again with an Honorable mention to Becca because she gave me the title for today. The conspiracy about O-Train not being allowed to win, though clever, wasn't even as good as my crab conspiracy. Those sons-of-bitches are after me.


O-Train

The honest answer: Holocaust denial. Among the beliefs of Holocaust deniers are that the number of Jews killed were greatly exaggerated and that gas chambers never existed.

The "so bad it's funny" answer: "Paul is Dead." It was believed that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike/sound-alike. People found "clues" in their music alluding to this, such as the message "Paul is dead" which could allegedly be heard when the song "I'm So Tired" was played backwards. Also, it was believed that the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was set to look like a graveside funeral with several other "clues" representing the fallen Beatle.

Becca said...

I'm with O-Train on the Holocaust denial. It makes me so angry that people can be THAT retarded. It's like trying to deny that the sun rises everyday.

Slightly related, I saw a koi fish in Hawaii that was all white, probably 12 or 13 inches from tip to tail, with a black spot right above it's mouth. Yes, the fish had a Hitler mustache.

I pinch

So for the fourth or fifth time this week, I was attacked, completely without provocation, by malicious and vengeful crab while I was surfing. I've become convinced that the crabs that inhabit the water here are plotting against me. That said:

What is the most absurd conspiracy theory in the history of conspiracy theories?

Things to consider: It should be more well known than my theory about the North Atlantic crabs and their vendetta against me. Also, unlike my theory, it should be false or at least probably false.

HEADLINE FOR FRIDAY, JULY 20:
O-TRAIN BREAKS OUT OF SLUMP

"The Barley Mow" is a traditional Irish drinking song where the sole purpose of the song is to finish an entire pint. During the song, after the line "good luck to the barley mow" everyone shouts "Good luck!" and takes a sip. The song deals with ancient measures of alcohol and people and as each is added on, the chorus gets longer and longer.

First Verse:
Here's good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow ("Good luck!" take a sip)
Jolly good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow

Chorus:
Oh the quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, to the barley mow

Second Verse:
Now here's good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Jolly good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'

Chorus (now one phrase longer):
"Here's the half gallon, quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the barley mow "

The following are all added through the course of the song: gallon, half barrel, barrel, landlord, barmaid, drayer, bookie, brewer and company, with some variation. "Company" signifies the last verse and time to finish your pint if you haven't already.

Singing drinking and sports

What is the all-time best ever drinking song? I want to see lyrics in the answers.

Yesterday's Winners: To explain my rationale a bit, for Nick at least, Soccer is, always has been, and probably always will be my favorite sport, thus making it pretty much an automatic win, and that's why I excluded it. A nod for honorable mention though, just because you brought up the 2006 World Cup and Pippo. O-Train, nobody's in Cahoots, but you are definitely slumping. Taking cheapshots at Cardamone though is always a good way to get back on your game. Rugby? I actually find Rugby terribly boring and I can't sit through an entire Rugby match. You might have had a chance with Ausie-rules Football, because it's like Rugby except for fun and interesting to watch. The rationale behind the winners might seem a little counter-intuitive after I just called rugby boring, but I'm choosing the cricketers. That is a fun sport to watch, plus, they take tea time. How many other sports have a built in break for tea time?

Becca:
Cricket! Millions of foreigners can't be wrong! Wickets, bowlers, pitches...it's all too confusing and cool for Americans to embrace.

Matty:
Cricket, because it lasts forever and we invented a version which can be played in the basement.

Oh my God. It even has a watermark.

What is the best non-American sport? I'm looking for a sport that we don't really play here in the US, or at least play with any kind of regularity, so I'll just give you the list of ruled out sports: Football, Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, Soccer, and Lacrosse. Other than that, just kinda use common sense.


Yesterday's Winners: O-Train, I respect your decision to go away from American Psycho, but you had to know that those were the answers I was going to choose. Matty wins, Martina with the runner-up

Matty:
Courtesy of IMDB, the only correct answer can be summed up in the best exchange of the best Wall Street movie:
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Patrick Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]
Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!

American Psycho, by a landslide. All I can say is why the fuck does he have a better business card than I do? Best. Wall Street movie. Ever.

Martina:
Well, you could always go for the obvious, like "Wall Street" starring michael douglas. But is it really that great of a movie...ehhh?
I know this movie doesn't technically take place on Wall Street (it's in Philly), but 'Trading Places' is probably one of the funniest movies ever about people with too much money. There is no denying Eddy Murphy's genius.
But, since it doesn't take place on Wall Street my vote goes to 'American Psycho.' The nice suites, the abundance of coke, Phil Colins and Huey Lewis and the News...not to mention the business card face-off, one of the most intelligent and hysterical scenes I have ever seen! I've become deeply frightened of investment bakers and stock brokers because of that movie.

A few matters of business

1. First off, my apologies that there was no new question last night. I've been sick and went to bed (passed out on the futon) at about 9:30 last night.
2. I'm going to start posting more around this general time (usually 6:30 or 7 I guess) whenever possible because, let's face it, I'm a loser and I have to be up at an obscene hour in the morning to get myself ready for work
3. FRONT OFFICE??? What fucking front office??? I sit on the couch, get drunk, watch tv and try to let it inspire me to ask a stupid question. I'm disappointed in you my friend. The only thing I can think to say to you right now is, "I don't wanna play no more. You broke the darn car." Suck it up man. You're better than that.
4. In Cardamone's defense, Matty, robot maid or not, when was the last time you saw Fred Flintstone lift a finger to take care of house work?


Now, today's question, sticking with a business theme:
What is the best movie set on Wall Street ever, ever? What I'm going for here is a sort of business themed movie broadly interpreted. Basically, in the movie, people should wear expensive suits and always seem like they have something important to do whether it's lunch or a meeting, or whatever.


Yesterday's Winners by which I mean the winners who should have been declared yesterday:
I hate the Jetsons, I choose Cardamone and Phoebe. Plus, Rosie is a bitch, and everybody knows that Robots that can think for themselves will eventually take over the world and that only Keanu Reeves Christ will be able to save us.

Nick:
Flintstones because Wilma was a fox. Fred was one of the original fat sitcom husbands who gets to bang a woman way too hot for him, thus giving those of us fatasses hope.

Plus, I always found the robot maid to be kind of a bitch.
What can I say, between Rosie the robot maid and Fran Drescher, I just have no tolerance for the nasally Long Island maids.

They make the Boston accent seem soothing.

Phoebe:
I say Flintstones for a number of reasons, but the primary two being (1) the wit behind their name and (2) the Flintstones vitamins were the best effing vitamins I had as a kid -- Dino, the purple one, was my favorite.

Also, the prehistoric "inventions" were way cooler than the stuff on the Jetsons.

And yes Rosie the robot maid was a bitch.

Fred or George?

How have I not asked this question yet? Flintstones or Jetsons?

Yesterday's winner: I've gotta give it to Matty, although everybody's lists were good.

I'm driving to work on Monday and I'll have the following on my playlist:

More Than a Feeling - Boston
Your Heart is an Empty Room - DCFC
Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
She Is - They Fray


My top 5 for a Monday morning:

Start it off low key with Jamie Cullum "These are the Days"
Follow that with STP "Days of the Week"
Paul Westerberg "2 Days til Tomorrow" because doesn't everybody feel that way on monday morning?
Foo Fighters "Cold Day in the Sun" the live version off of Skin and Bones not the album cut
Phantom Planet "Lonely Day"
And then if I could have a sixth it would be Blackpool Lights, the song is "This Town's Disaster" which only missed the top five because it didn't have the word "day" in its title.

The question for today is simple:

Top 5 songs to play on a Monday morning?

Yesterday's winner: ARTEMIS? You actually said Artemis? Let's really stop and think about the logic here behind picking Artemis or I actually prefer her Roman Name Diana. All fun things happen at night...yea, but not to her because at night while her twin brother is off enjoying any chick he wants, she's guiding the moon through its course. She's Chaste! So disappointed in you Caitlin. I can't pick Athena either for the same reason, but she is bad ass. You guys had to know that there was only one right answer to this question and it was Becca's. A nod to Phoebe for having the most awesomely self-serving answer ever, choosing Phoebe. That was awesome phoebs.

Becca:
Hephaestus was a cripple.
Aphrodite married the cripple.
Ares had anger management issues.
Demeter was a hippy chick. (I know hippies...I've hated them all my life.)
Hades drew the short straw out of him and his brothers, making him ruler of the underworld.
Hera was a jealous bitch.
Zeus was a manwhore.
There are others, but I need to get on a plane in six hours, and I haven't started packing yet.

In conclusion, Dionysus is the best Greek god. As the god of wine, he's the number one guy in my book. I'd hang out with him over any of the others.

Nectar of the gods

So I just drank the closest thing to nectar of the gods that I will ever lay hands upon. On a dare from Matty, I just took a double shot that was equal parts Beefeater's Gin, Jose Cuervo, Bacardi Silver, and Johnnie Walker Black Label--for those of you playing the home game that's gin, tequila, rum and Scotch--and shockingly, it was actually not terrible. Not quite Nectar, but so be it. The bet was this: If I took the shot and didn't throw-up, Matty had to buy me a six pack, if I did, I owed him a six pack. Long story short, Matty owes me a six pack. Anyway, speaking of the god's nectar:

Who is the best Greek god or goddess?

Things to consider: You won't be penalized for using Roman names, but you will for being wrong. So if you said you liked Aphrodite because she was the goddess of wisdom, you would not only be disqualified, but also most likely mocked.


Yesterday's: Cardamone, how can you hate on Masters of The Universe? I love that movie, it's vintage eighties trash. Also, Becca, your roommate is disqualified: 1) because she didn't post herself and 2) because TMNT III was based more on the 1991 Videogame, Turtles in Time, available on the Super Nintendo, than it was on the cartoons. Plus, there were two kickass Ninja Turtle Movies before the third one, so although I like to deny that the third movie ever happened, I can't accept the answer. I give it to Matty with a nod to all three girls (Eileen, Becca, and Martina) for giving quality answers.

"Any of the Flintstone movies. I can't even watch the cartoon anymore because John Goodman ruined it for me. And then they had to make Viva Rock Vegas with the WORST Baldwin (and that's saying something) as Barney Rubble. Between the two of them, I can't watch what was one of my all time favorite cartoons anymore. I'd also like to point out the Flintstone Vitamins seem to be rarer than, well, dinosaurs since they made those terrible, terrible movies."

Flawed Logic

First: Matty, that is the most illogical answer to a question that you've ever given. No I will not go watch a bunch of half-naked Greeks run around by myself. I will not go to the movies by myself. I'd much rather watch almost any movie by myself in the comfort of my own place than go to the movie theater and be "that guy at the movies by himself."

Alrite, so that said, I just finished the movie, complete with notes for class, and I put away the Bonbons and box of tissues that I was crying into because, well let's face it, it's a sad movie, and it's time for another stupid question.

What is the all-time worst hollywood live action remake of a formerly great cartoon?

Things to consider: You don't necessarily have to have seen any of these movies to be appalled by everything they stand for. Underdog isn't even out yet and I die a little inside every time I think about it.

Yesterday's winner: Becca, because it was the only answer that made me feel better about myself

I don't think either is too bad. I mean, you can drive for longer than that just trying to find a parking spot. As for watching the movie alone, at least no one is around during the scene at the party when the young lovers are on either side of the fish tank and you can't help but sigh because it's so damned romantic.

I'm a loser

What's more depressing: driving all over Long Island for two-and-a-half hours trying to find a copy of Baz Luhrman's Romeo + Juliet or watching said movie by yourself after you've driven around forever trying to find it?

Things to Consider:
-This question is totally hypothetical and in no way based upon events that actually occurred today.
-I needed to watch it for my summer course, Shakespeare on Film.

Yesterday's winner: Like you didn't all know this was coming, it's Eileen, honorable mention to Matty because it's High Fidelity

"Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you."
-Katie, Wet Hot American Summer

My personal choices are:

"You know Lane, we've been seeing an awful lot of each other lately, and I really think it's in my best interest to date someone a little more popular...better looking...drives a nicer car."
-Beth, Better off Dead

I need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale. Cannot be corrected. But I have no other way to fulfill my needs...Evelyn, I'm, uh, sorry, I just, uh--You're not terribly important to me.
-Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Nakedness, drunkeness, and Lunch Meats

What is the all time best movie break-up line? I have a couple in mind already that I'll share tomorrow, but let's hear them, your choices for the best break-up line in movie history.

Yesterday's: So Many to Choose from, so I'll put them in what I find to be the most logical order.

Nick: Drink all the beer in your fridge before it gets warm.
O-Train: Throw now-spoiled lunchmeat from the fridge at Cardamone after he's passed out from drinking all the beer in the fridge.
Michelle: naked hide-and-go-seek.
Becca: It's a little game I like to call "Who's In My Mouth."

So everybody gets drunk, then throws spoiled lunch meat at the now passed out drunkest of the drunk, strips down for a game of naked hide-and-seek, and then when you find somebody they get to play "who's in my mouth". I wish my power would go out more often.

Just For Michelle

What's the best thing to do when the power goes out? (I ask this question specifically because my power was out all day and prevented me from posting the following list earlier)

Winners for the last two weeks or so:
6/26 Martina & Eileen
6/27 Nicole
6/28 Becca
6/29 Cardamone
6/30 Martina (You had me at Christian Bale as Jay Gatsby)
7/1 Michelle & Cardamone
7/2 O-Train and Becca
7/3 Eileen & Matty
7/4 Martina
7/5 Caitlin
Yesterday: Becca (Bonus points for creativity, plus we got really shitfaced)

A question about sequels

Alrite, so in a summer dominated by blockbuster sequels, what is, or will be, the best sequel of the summer?

Yesterday's: Hands down the Pro-Bowl takes it. Matty, Nick and O-Train all take home the honors, but Matty gets his post up here because he also managed to work in a cheap shot at the NBA:

When was the last time anyone watched the pro bowl? It's a waste of time and it's extremely anticlimactic after the Super Bowl. What a waste of time. Get rid of one or two exhibition games, move it to the beginning of the year, and then the answer is basketball.

I need a vacation from vacation

Well, I'm exhausted, so i'll put off posting all the winners until tomorrow or saturday, but in the meantime:

Which Professional Sports' All Star Game is the biggest Joke?