Today's question:
Who are your all-time top five famous alcoholics? Your favorite sauced-up celebrities of all time?
Yesterday's winner: I have to thank Becca for the question and give her a nod for purple headed yogurt slinger, but the fact of the matter is that, for reasons beyond explanation, I just have to give it to Phoebe.
Phoebes:
Female:
Best ever: Axe wound. Double bonus for "bloody."
Also notable:
Comedy points for "cooter."
Personal favorite: taint. Where did that even come from (other than Dane Cook)?
Male:
I'm fairly sure this will come back to haunt me some day, but I'll say it anyway: I love "cock." (ha, cock; especially when substituted in to form the word "recockulous.")
And a notable mention for the sacred union of the two:
"hotdog" down a "hallway"
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4 comments:
Shane MacGowan - Lead singer of the Pogues. Legendary for being drunk at every show they've done. Doublefists Guinness and a bottle of Jameson's during his shows. He adds to it all by seemingly never having brushed his teeth in his life, leading to a mouthful of rotted out stubs (formerly recognizable as teeth). Plus he's Irish.
Derek Lowe - clinched every deciding game of the 04 playoffs. After the Sox won the 03 Divisional Series agains the A's, he, along with Kevin Millar served drinks to people at the Baseball Tavern in full uniform. Essentially drank his way out of Boston.
Lindsay Lohan - Because she has great tits.
Jack Parker - Well, a recovering alcoholic at least. Jack's one of the finest men I've ever met and someone I truly respect. He's also a fiery Boston Irish who enjoyed a taste in his day.
Jimmy McNulty - Okay, so maybe choosing a fictional character is cheating, but McNulty (in season 2 of The Wire) once managed to drunkenly skim a bridge support while driving, stepped back, examined the angle, reversed and did it again, crushing the side of his Cavalier into the support. He then drunkenly drove to a diner and bagged a waitress while blacked out.
And oh yeah, he was singing along to the Pogues as he did it.
You, me, and any other three of our friends.
I was going to answer this, and then I read the other two lists. Fuck it, it's not worth my time or thought. Just give the goddamn win to Cardamone.
John Belushi -- Became an icon for all college students after his portrayal of John "Bluto" Blutarsky.
Mickey Mantle -- The "Commerce Comet" knocked out 536 homeruns while nursing 2 bad knees and a career-long hangover. His wild nights with Billy Martin and Whitey Ford are known throughout baseball lore. Once Mantle was asked how to hit while hungover and he replied, "Close one eye and aim for the ball in the middle." My old roommate, Dan Seed, can attest to the success in this theory, going 3-4 on Marathon Monday in an intramural softball game.
Ernest Hemingway -- Drank like a fish and loved it so much that he wrote about drinking, and wrote very, very well.
Ted Kennedy -- Killed a woman while driving drunk and still manages to hold the same office today. The token New Englander of this list.
Dean Martin -- What began as an act ultimately became a lifestyle. Made a career out of convincing people he was drunk, only to eventually end up drunk later in life.
Honorable Mention: Former Red Sox 3B Mike Greenwell
Obscure, but there's a story. I know a guy who worked in baseball memorabilia, and one night he and his business associates were out with Greenwell after an appearance. Greenwell bet them each an undisclosed amount of cash that he could drink more than them. For every pint they drank collectively (meaning each man had a pint), Greenwell would drink a pitcher. Greenwell ended up drinking the entire group under the table.
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