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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A few matters of business

1. First off, my apologies that there was no new question last night. I've been sick and went to bed (passed out on the futon) at about 9:30 last night.
2. I'm going to start posting more around this general time (usually 6:30 or 7 I guess) whenever possible because, let's face it, I'm a loser and I have to be up at an obscene hour in the morning to get myself ready for work
3. FRONT OFFICE??? What fucking front office??? I sit on the couch, get drunk, watch tv and try to let it inspire me to ask a stupid question. I'm disappointed in you my friend. The only thing I can think to say to you right now is, "I don't wanna play no more. You broke the darn car." Suck it up man. You're better than that.
4. In Cardamone's defense, Matty, robot maid or not, when was the last time you saw Fred Flintstone lift a finger to take care of house work?


Now, today's question, sticking with a business theme:
What is the best movie set on Wall Street ever, ever? What I'm going for here is a sort of business themed movie broadly interpreted. Basically, in the movie, people should wear expensive suits and always seem like they have something important to do whether it's lunch or a meeting, or whatever.


Yesterday's Winners by which I mean the winners who should have been declared yesterday:
I hate the Jetsons, I choose Cardamone and Phoebe. Plus, Rosie is a bitch, and everybody knows that Robots that can think for themselves will eventually take over the world and that only Keanu Reeves Christ will be able to save us.

Nick:
Flintstones because Wilma was a fox. Fred was one of the original fat sitcom husbands who gets to bang a woman way too hot for him, thus giving those of us fatasses hope.

Plus, I always found the robot maid to be kind of a bitch.
What can I say, between Rosie the robot maid and Fran Drescher, I just have no tolerance for the nasally Long Island maids.

They make the Boston accent seem soothing.

Phoebe:
I say Flintstones for a number of reasons, but the primary two being (1) the wit behind their name and (2) the Flintstones vitamins were the best effing vitamins I had as a kid -- Dino, the purple one, was my favorite.

Also, the prehistoric "inventions" were way cooler than the stuff on the Jetsons.

And yes Rosie the robot maid was a bitch.

7 comments:

Phoebe said...

Business themed broadly interpreted? You got it:

Whoopie Goldberg as Laurel Ayers AND Mr. Cutty in "The Associate," a 1996 remake of a French story about social politics and breaking down the barriers of the professional world.

Goldberg's character is constantly overlooked, over-worked and under-paid in her job on Wall Street, which is dominated by men who play the "old boy's game" rather than earn their wages through honest hard work.

What does she do then? What anyone frustrated with how their boss treats them does: she asks her drag queen neighbor for help and with a Mrs. Doubtfireian make-over, becomes a rich old white man, Mr. Cutty, who is named after a bottle of Scotch.

After a lot of predictable favoritism to Cutty because of his presumed cock, there's a ridiculously dramatic reveal in front of a packed dinner honoring "him" where she peels off the mask and makes all the whites extremely uncomfortable.

In summation, this movie rules because:

-a black woman dresses like a white guy and ruthlessly exposes a deep social bias.
-Whoopie Goldberg does not have eyebrows, so clearly she has to be really good at acting so we know how her character is feeling at the moment.
-She named her alter-ego man after a bottle of SCOTCH. (in this crowd, that has to pack a mean punch.)

And furthermore, to vote against this nominee means you hate black people.

Nicole Cammorata said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Well, you could always go for the obvious, like "Wall Street" starring michael douglas. But is it really that great of a movie...ehhh?
I know this movie doesn't technically take place on Wall Street (it's in Philly), but 'Trading Places' is probably one of the funniest movies ever about people with too much money. There is no denying Eddy Murphy's genius.
But, since it doesn't take place on Wall Street my vote goes to 'American Psycho.' The nice suites, the abundance of coke, Phil Colins and Huey Lewis and the News...not to mention the business card face-off, one of the most intelligent and hysterical scenes I have ever seen! I've become deeply frightened of investment bakers and stock brokers because of that movie.

Nicole Cammorata said...

I know there's no way I'm gonna win after Phoebe's answer, but I'm putting my two cents in for "Big," starring Tom Hanks. Okay, so I know it's not about wall street, but a 12 year old kid wakes up as an adult and gets hired as a hot shot exec at a toy company because he thinks like a kid. Plus Tom Hanks is pretty sweet and you know you've done the whole chopsticks on the big piano in FAO Schwartz thing (or at least tried to). And they go to a fancy party where people are wearing suits, and Tom Hanks eats the baby corn like real corn and it's awesome. And he tried caviar and then spits it out and that's funny to me. And his loft apartment is amazing cause it has bunkbeds AND a trampoline.

I didn't really answer the question, did I. Screw it, I never get picked. Tom Hanks, toys, suits, childhood, shimmy shimmy cocoa puff, bunk beds. The End. Goulet.

Anonymous said...

Courtesy of IMDB, the only correct answer can be summed up in the best exchange of the best Wall Street movie:
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Patrick Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]
Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!

American Psycho, by a landslide. All I can say is why the fuck does he have a better business card than I do? Best. Wall Street movie. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Viva La Revolucion

O-Train said...

I'll go with "Wall Street," just to be obvious and so I don't fall into the trap where everyone starts blowing Christian Bale in order have their answer chosen.

The cast of "Wall Street" epitomizes everything about Wall Street in the late 80s, from chainsmoking, strung-out stockbrokers to a blonde "designer." Everyone was yuppified, best demonstrated by the 5 minutes that Gordon Gekko and his wife spend with their fat, ugly kid. It's cutthroat business, kill or be killed, and selling out the ones you care about to turn a profit.

Also, Michael Douglas delivers a very good monologue in front of the Teldar Paper shareholders. It's a monologue actually relating to Wall Street, as opposed to hacking a guy with an axe. He explains how America has become a second-rate power, and how the current Teldar administration is railroading the shareholders. He then ends with this:
"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much."