So for the fourth or fifth time this week, I was attacked, completely without provocation, by malicious and vengeful crab while I was surfing. I've become convinced that the crabs that inhabit the water here are plotting against me. That said:
What is the most absurd conspiracy theory in the history of conspiracy theories?
Things to consider: It should be more well known than my theory about the North Atlantic crabs and their vendetta against me. Also, unlike my theory, it should be false or at least probably false.
HEADLINE FOR FRIDAY, JULY 20:
O-TRAIN BREAKS OUT OF SLUMP
"The Barley Mow" is a traditional Irish drinking song where the sole purpose of the song is to finish an entire pint. During the song, after the line "good luck to the barley mow" everyone shouts "Good luck!" and takes a sip. The song deals with ancient measures of alcohol and people and as each is added on, the chorus gets longer and longer.
First Verse:
Here's good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow ("Good luck!" take a sip)
Jolly good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow
Chorus:
Oh the quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, to the barley mow
Second Verse:
Now here's good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Jolly good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Chorus (now one phrase longer):
"Here's the half gallon, quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the barley mow "
The following are all added through the course of the song: gallon, half barrel, barrel, landlord, barmaid, drayer, bookie, brewer and company, with some variation. "Company" signifies the last verse and time to finish your pint if you haven't already.
3 comments:
The conspiracy by people with better answers and the powers that be to prevent O-Train from winning QOD, despite the fact that he believes he has better answers than everyone else every single day he posts. Forget the moon landing conspiracy, this is the biggest conspiracy since Hamlet's father was murdered in Shakespeare's famous play.
The honest answer: Holocaust denial. Among the beliefs of Holocaust deniers are that the number of Jews killed were greatly exaggerated and that gas chambers never existed.
The "so bad it's funny" answer: "Paul is Dead." It was believed that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike/sound-alike. People found "clues" in their music alluding to this, such as the message "Paul is dead" which could allegedly be heard when the song "I'm So Tired" was played backwards. Also, it was believed that the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was set to look like a graveside funeral with several other "clues" representing the fallen Beatle.
I'm with O-Train on the Holocaust denial. It makes me so angry that people can be THAT retarded. It's like trying to deny that the sun rises everyday.
Slightly related, I saw a koi fish in Hawaii that was all white, probably 12 or 13 inches from tip to tail, with a black spot right above it's mouth. Yes, the fish had a Hitler mustache.
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