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Friday, July 13, 2007

Nectar of the gods

So I just drank the closest thing to nectar of the gods that I will ever lay hands upon. On a dare from Matty, I just took a double shot that was equal parts Beefeater's Gin, Jose Cuervo, Bacardi Silver, and Johnnie Walker Black Label--for those of you playing the home game that's gin, tequila, rum and Scotch--and shockingly, it was actually not terrible. Not quite Nectar, but so be it. The bet was this: If I took the shot and didn't throw-up, Matty had to buy me a six pack, if I did, I owed him a six pack. Long story short, Matty owes me a six pack. Anyway, speaking of the god's nectar:

Who is the best Greek god or goddess?

Things to consider: You won't be penalized for using Roman names, but you will for being wrong. So if you said you liked Aphrodite because she was the goddess of wisdom, you would not only be disqualified, but also most likely mocked.


Yesterday's: Cardamone, how can you hate on Masters of The Universe? I love that movie, it's vintage eighties trash. Also, Becca, your roommate is disqualified: 1) because she didn't post herself and 2) because TMNT III was based more on the 1991 Videogame, Turtles in Time, available on the Super Nintendo, than it was on the cartoons. Plus, there were two kickass Ninja Turtle Movies before the third one, so although I like to deny that the third movie ever happened, I can't accept the answer. I give it to Matty with a nod to all three girls (Eileen, Becca, and Martina) for giving quality answers.

"Any of the Flintstone movies. I can't even watch the cartoon anymore because John Goodman ruined it for me. And then they had to make Viva Rock Vegas with the WORST Baldwin (and that's saying something) as Barney Rubble. Between the two of them, I can't watch what was one of my all time favorite cartoons anymore. I'd also like to point out the Flintstone Vitamins seem to be rarer than, well, dinosaurs since they made those terrible, terrible movies."

9 comments:

Becca said...

I'm doing this by process of elimination.

Hephaestus was a cripple.
Aphrodite married the cripple.
Ares had anger management issues.
Demeter was a hippy chick. (I know hippies...I've hated them all my life.)
Hades drew the short straw out of him and his brothers, making him ruler of the underworld.
Hera was a jealous bitch.
Zeus was a manwhore.
There are others, but I need to get on a plane in six hours, and I haven't started packing yet.

In conclusion, Dionysus is the best Greek god. As the god of wine, he's the numer one guy in my book. I'd hang out with him over any of the others.

Becca said...

Oh yeah, and Posiedon always smells like fish.

Anonymous said...

Becca, there is only one correct answer to this question and you forgot to mention her in your process of elimination: Athena brought to my attention that as the Goddess of Wisdom she is the only wise choice (she also invoked the muses when she told me). Oh, and she helped Odysseus get home.

Becca said...

Athena is the equivalent to that smartypants girl who raises her hand too much in lecture. Know it all. Plus, she was celibate. I don't trust virgins.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the Greeks...the Roman gods would kick their asses.

8675309 said...

Apollo. He's the hot one who's really good at sports but can also play john mayer on his guitar (or lyre). And, yeah, maybe he knows he's hot but that just makes him kind of cocky in a good way. In short, he's that Zack Morris of the Greek pantheon.

Caitlin said...

People should be disqualified for using Roman names b/c you asked which Greek god/goddess was the best which means the winner should have to use their Greek name not Roman in order to be declared the winner.


Artemis was the greatest of the Greek Gods and Goddesses because...

A)She was a twin. Apollo was the god of the sun and since they were twins Artemis is the goddess of the moon. And everyone knows the best/most fun of times are the ones that happen after dark.

B)She was a kick asses take no prisoners kind of woman. She turned a peeping Tom into a stag and had him brought down by his own hounds for spying on her while she was bathing.

C)She is forgiving. After Apollo got jealous of all the time she was spending with Orion and had him killed by a giant scorpion, she forgave her brother and together they hung Orion in the stars so that he would never be forgotten.

D)Artemis is the reason the Greeks almost didn't get to Troy. Agamemnon, the king of the Greek's killed on of her sacred deer and she punished the entire Greek army by taking away the wind so they could not sail to Troy.

Artemis was awesome. End of discussion.

Phoebe Sexton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phoebe Sexton said...

Fuck all of your couches, the answer, obviously is Phoebe. There is no Greek god or goddess Becca or Matty or Cardamone and I'm flippin' awesome, so I think I could rest my case right there. But this beeing a scholarly crowd that appreciates a cited source, I submit this to back me up:

"PHOEBE: One of the TITANS, she's Goddess of Wise Counsel, Thoughtful Replies and Snappy Answers.

PHOEBE is the daughter of URANUS and GAIA. She's the consort of COEUS, the intellectual God of Tricky Questions, and the two of them must have some fascinating conversations.

Her offspring includes ASTERIA and LETO. She's also granny to APOLLO, to whom she donated her Oracle at Delphi after getting bored with all the Frequently Asked Questions."
http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/greek-mythology.php?deity=PHOEBE