Who would you rather sleep with Maid Marian or Guinevere? Robin Hood or Lancelot?
Yesterday's Winner: Matty Bain
Mr. Blonde. HE CUT A DUDE'S EAR OFF AND THEN TALKED INTO IT. Keep in mind, that Allie Weinberger can no longer listen to "Stuck In the Middle With You" because of that scene. Freakin' brilliant, making him the runaway best Reservoir Dog.
9 comments:
Lancelot has it all over Robin Hood, and thus he can have it all over me, too. All Robin Hood ever did was shoot arrows and rob from the rich. Lancelot slayed fucking dragons. (Right?) And Lancelot was a knight! Not some dude in tights who would later morph into a fox for the cartoon version.
If I'm bangin Guinivere, I'm gonna constantly be wondering if she's two timing me, since she had the balls to two time a fucking king and a goddamn knight.
But Maid Marian was a loyal broad...no worries there. Plus, I'd really be hoping that, befitting her name, there's some nice french maid costumes in the future as well.
So yeah, I'd go with Marian.
Definitely Lancelot. He must have been hot shit if Guinevere was willing to cheat on a king with him. He had that whole cocky yet broody bad boy thing going on, too. If you look at recent movies, he was portrayed by Ioan Gruffudd and Richard Gere. Way hotter than the blokes who played Robin Hood.
Plus, Robin Hood is gay. Just look at all of his Merry Men.
How is this even a difficult question? On one hand, there is the chaste, loyal, compassionate Maid Marian. I'd probably be her first, and I couldn't disappoint. On the other, the two-timing tramp Guinevere. She ruined a fucking kingdom after she let half the kingdom fucking ruin her. I could bring my A game and she'd still be disappointed.
But then you have to ask yourself, "If she's disappointed, who cares?" I'm not doing this for charity. I'm doing this for a good time and I think Guinevere could really get down. Also, I have the feeling that she's got an insatiable appetite for sex. So while Maid Marian would be telling me how happy she was that I was her first and trying to cuddle, Guinevere would be fastening the handcuffs and telling me the new safety word.
Guinevere's the hands-down choice.
Let's put this in Wedding Crasher terms . . . do you want Rachel McAdams or the crazy red head? I'm going McAdams. Unreal hot, honest, loyal, and you don't have to worry about her sneaking into your room and tying you up. Gotta be Maid Marian.
But Matty, your girlfriend is a redhead.
hahaha...that crazy skank
Can I append my answer to say that I would do Lancelot AND Guinevere? 'Cause I totally would.
Yeah, but my girlfriend isn't a freakin' psycho. She doesn't cheat on me and she is definitely NOT a skank (cardamone, you ass)
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