What is the worst trilogy in the history of Trilogies?
Things to consider: Star Wars Episodes 1-3 and 4-6 count as separate trilogies.
Yesterday's Winner: I've gotta give it to Nick with an honorable mention to everyone else.
1. Jerry Maguire - Kelly Preston "don't ever stop fucking me"
Kelly, if it was possible, I never would, even if you have raised your child without acknowledging he's autistic because you're a member of a fucking sick cult that denies the absence of autism.
2. Denise Richards and Neve Campbell - Wild Things - Well fucking duh
3. Halle Berry - Monster's Ball - Because I'm like 67% sure that she was really getting fucked in this scene..somehow, despite the fact that it was Billy Bob Thornton's penis in her...I still find that hot...I'm kind of ashamed.
4. Jennifer Connelly - Any scene that allows us to see her perfect bresteses...I think I got the first boner that I can remember when I saw the Rocketeer for the first time.
5. Mia Sara - Timecop - Not so much for this scene, but because she's from Ferris Beuller's Day Off and goddamn if it wasn't nice to get a good view.
My 5:
5. Team America: World Police Extended edition. Puppet sex that would have garnered an NC-17 rating for the film if they hadn't cut the scene down. I don't know if I've ever laughed as hard as I did when I saw that scene.
4. Boogie Nights. Roller Girl and Dirk. Like Jaybruzz said "who wouldn't want to have sex with Burt Reynolds watching!"
3. Wild Things. Another already said.
2. High Fidelity. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian in my head. Just because I refuse to have more than half of my list be scenes that were already mentioned
1. American Psycho. How did no one else pick Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) flexing in the mirror while he videotapes himself banging the shit out of two hookers before he cuts them up with scalpels.
5 comments:
MVP: Most Valuable Primate
1. MVP: Most Valuable Primate
2. MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate
3. MXP: Most Xtreme Primate
I mean, I like seeing monkeys in humanizing situations as much as the next person, but COME ON. I mean, Air Bud was even better than this shit.
I'm going to piss a lot of people off but my vote is for the Spiderman movies. Tobey Maguire is fucking boring and looks like he belongs in a chess club. Kirsten Dunst is atrocious on every level. This is a great comic ruined by three movies that are a testament to how unbelievably shitacular hollywood has become. Spiderman 3 is arguably the worst movie to come out in years and has left the entire franchise with no redeemable value. They managed to trash a classic comic book character while simultaneously feeding the public thirst for flashy, unremarkable swill. I hate this movies with everything in my body, and Cardamone's body for that matter
Ok, so I put a lot of thought into this. I think Becca is on the right track, but MVP was pretty awesome considering the fucking monkey skates around. That makes the first one pretty awesome. I decided to exclude all trilogies that came from Disney wanting money (ie, Peter Pan, Beauty and the Beast, etc) and anything where a movie wasn't released in theaters. Second, to be a terrible trilogy you have to have three bad movies. One can't be freakin' awesome and you can't be like, well they all sucked except that one was amazing. Goodbye Matrix, Star Wars, Robo Cop, etc. So where does this leave us? Spy Kids. I fucking hate all of those movies and I would rather watch infomercials for 3 weeks straight if it meant those movies had never been made. No wait, I'd rather watch WOMEN'S BASKETBALL than watch those movies. Antonio Banderas and Tony Shalhoub, what were you thinking?
I agree that a bad trilogy has to have three bad movies (On this note, I'd also like to specifically exclude the Major League and Starship Troopers Trilogies). So I'm gonna have to go with the Look Who's Talking Trilogy. How were any of these even pitched to the studio? #1 "You can hear babies' thoughts." #2 "The main baby gets a sister and you can hear her thoughts too." #3 "The two kids get a dog and you can hear his thoughts as well." Was John Travolta so strapped for cash before Pulp Fiction that he appeared in all three of these? The only possible explanation I can think of for any of these movies being made: The Scientologists did it.
Legally Blonde
Someday, they'll make a third one...and fuck them for that.
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