Welcome back. It's the first question in a long time, so I have to go big, and it doesn't get much bigger than this. Who would win the following tag-team fight to the death:
Chuck Norris (Circa 1992's Sidekicks) and John McClane (Die Hard series)
Vs.
Jack Bauer and Rambo
Things to Consider: Roundhouse Kicks; Explosive arrow-heads; Bauer takes torture like a man; McClane once walked barefoot through a room full of broken glass and has a penchant for dropping terrorists out of windows and down elevator shafts. Also, there's no set venue, so feel free to propose one that will help support your answer.
6 comments:
To try and get back into the swing of things, I'll be leaving this question up for today and tomorrow, a new question will be posted at midnight tomorrow (Tuesday into Wednesday) so you'll have 28 hours roughly to answer instead of just 4. After that it'll be back to the normal schedule, 1 question every 24 hours posted at about midnight.
I can't believe that's even a question. Chuck Norris could kick all three of their asses at once, blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back. His tears cure cancer for God's sake!
John McClane is one of those very underrated characters not usually grouped in with the big names like Norris and Bauer.
Overall, I'd have to go with Norris and McClane, because Bauer would equal out Norris, and McClane could EASILY handle Rambo. As long as Rambo didn't have like 60 guns and like half a billioon rounds of ammo.
Then it's anyone's guess.
I'm gonna go with Chuck Norris and John McClane. Don't get me wrong - Bauer and Rambo can kick some major ass, but Norris and McClane just have too much going for them. John McClane has killed terrorists for nearly 20 years, and apparently this year gets to drag around the nerd from the apple commercials to help save the country. On top of that, Chuck Norris turned Jonathan Brandis into less of a giant pussy in Sidekicks.
Here's the scene...on top of any building taller than 50 stories with Kim Bauer as the ring girl/eye candy. Give each competitor one gun with two bullets. Rambo would waste both of his rounds and Jack Bauer would shoot both of his at Chuck Norris, where the bullets would be stopped, matrix-style, by a Norris roundhouse. When it counts (see Die Hard 3 when he shoots the power lines into the helicopter), McClane doesn't miss. He would pop Rambo, then tag in Norris so they could do a combo Norris roundhouse into a McClane throw-a-guy-off-a-building. Bauer wouldn't even have a chance to react.
Ray, I’m so glad that the pursuit of you doctorate still allows you the time to ponder the real quandaries of life. The world would be quiet a predicament if these questions were not answered in a very well thought out 24hrs per question schedule.
And to that, I must say Chuck Norris and John McClane would win in a fight to the death. This is not to say Rambo and Jack Bauer wont bring it. However, both Chuck Norris and John McClane bring power, strength, and fighting ability to the table. Since Jack Bauer’s forte is more intelligence- kind of get in there minds and fuck with them than pure force, he wont be able to equally back Rambo up. Plus a roundhouse kick in the face followed by a "yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker," is a definite lethal combination.
Look, there's one major thing to consider here: The presence of a hand gun in Jack's hands. When was the last time he didn't kill someone with one shot? It's unbelievable. He'd pull out his hand gun 100 yards away and snipe both of them in the head. With one shot. He's Jack fucking Bauer. Chuck Norris is no good unless he's close range. I don't think he's ever hit anyone with a shot on Walker. McClane could do some damage from afar, but his accuracy is nowhere near Jack's. Here's how I see it unfolding: Jack and Rambo flank McClane and Norris in an empty warehouse. Rambo uses a flaming arrow which Norris' beard absorbs and McClane barely avoids the explosion with an amazing dive at the last possible second. Bauer notices both of them still alive, pulls out his gun, fires one shot and they're both dead. Once again, Bauer prevails.
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