Dumb Questions Daily

The Jets won one

2007-11-18T22:57:00.000-05:00

In the sports category:

Well the Jets moved to 2-8 on the season with a win that even they couldn't give away, although they did try, against the Pittsburgh Steelers. My question for you is, will the Patriots put up triple digits on the New York Jets in two weeks as a way of taking revenge for the video-taping debacle earlier this year? Or will it just be a very high two digit number?

Thursday's winner: Matty

5)Crystal Ball - Keane
4)Look After You - The Fray
3)Blizzard of 77 - Nada Surf
2)Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie
1)Home - Foo Fighters

I feel like all of these somehow capture the mood and beauty of a crisp winter morning. One of my favorite things about BU was the days when you would walk out to a bright blue sky and a light frost. You put in your iPod and there are invariably those songs that you feel like you just have to listen to that day. That is one of the things I will never forget and one of the many things I love about Boston and BU. If I was going to make that walk right now, these songs would have to be in a playlist to throw on for the walk to class.

My list: Avoiding Matty's top 3, all of which would have made my list

5) What is Your Secret - Nada Surf (They turn out entire albums that you can listen to on a winter morning...I could avoid using the same song as Matty, but I couldn't avoid putting Nada Surf on my list)
4) English Girls Approximately - Ryan Adams
3) Radioman - Feeder
2) Don't go Away - Oasis
1) Angel in the Snow - Elliott Smith

Apologies again

2007-11-15T23:28:00.000-05:00

My wireless and my computer have both been a bit finicky lately. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm feeling kinda simple tonight. As the seasons change and it starts to get a bit chilly outside, let's go with all time top 5 songs (because I know no one listens to albums anymore) for walking down a lightly snow covered street in the winter. I know it's not technically winter yet, but it's about that time of the year when I start thinking about the mountains and getting some snowboarding in and such.

Winner from whenever: I'm going to give it to Becca because that really would just make the world a much better place.

Becca:
Stephen Colbert would clone himself and appoint himself to every seat in the cabinet.

Beatles vs. Oasis?

2007-11-10T13:07:00.000-05:00

A question that even I'm not stupid enough to ask. It would be no contest. And Nick, you couldn't choose a better Beatles song than "Tomorrow Never Knows"? I mean, c'mon.

Today's question comes to us direct from Matty Bain in Saginaw, Michigan:

Matty Asks: If Stephen Colbert is somehow elected to the presidency, who would his cabinet members be? To make this a little bit easier, we'll just say Secretary of State, Education, Defense, Treasury, Agriculture, Interior and Justice. If you want to do all 15 positions, go for it, but I don't particularly care who you think Stephen Colbert would choose for the Secretary of Veterans Affairs or Housing and Urban Development. It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Thursday's: I'm going to give it to Nicole for going all musical and thoughtful about it. And Matty, if you think that I'm devaluing your opinion and your personal experience by not choosing your answer, I am.

Nicole:
"Here's a theory for you to disregard completely. Music, you know, true music..not just Rock-and-Roll..it chooses you! It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, vast scenic rituals and angelic choirs in your brain. It’s a place apart from the vast benign lap of America." -Almost Famous

And so, in the vein of perhaps one of the greatest music movies ever (the others being "High Fidelity," "This is Spinal Tap," and "The Beatles' Help"), I say that my Oasis song of choice, given the options, (which was the question, yes, and not a question of Oasis or the Beatles - which would be Beatles) is Wonderwall. Because, it found me first. And yes, I love Champagne Supernova, but that first time hearing Wonderwall, with those long, drawn-out "And maaaybeeeee... you're gonna be the one that saaaves meeeeeee.. and after alllllll, you're my wonderwalllll" really appealed to my awkward, single, boy-crazy 6th-grade self. The idea of this guy singing this song to someone, of some girl having this power of him, I dig that.

Remember Remember the Fifth of November

2007-11-05T23:12:00.000-05:00

The Gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason the gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot

Barring September 11, what is the most unforgettable historical event of our young lives? The one that will never be 'forgot'?

The other day's question: I'm going to give this one to Matty even though he crossed up the actual name-Screen Actors Guild-with the Matt Stone / Trey Parker satire from Team America. Or at least failed to acknowledge that he knows the difference. Oops. Oh well. It worked for the joke, and that, i'm sure, is why he did it.

Matty:
George Clooney. He's pompous, full of himself, a leader of Film Actors Guild (FAG) and apparently *ahem* takes that membership literally in his personal life. So if we're talking who's full of shit, he is literally and figuratively because he spews nonsense and has his packed regularly.

So everyone hates Halloween, Nick, or me

2007-11-02T02:50:00.000-04:00

or perhaps some combination of the three. Or maybe just horror movies. I'm going to tell myself it's Horror movies. That'll make me feel better about myself when I go to bed.

Anyway, I just finished another paper and even I'm amazed by just how full of shit I am. Which brings me to today's question.

Which political figure/celebrity pretending to be, in the immortal words of Stan Marsh, "political and stuff" would you say is most full of shit?

I know this is a tough question, and it's essentially like asking who the fakest (not a word but it will do for my purposes) person in Hollywood is, but I want to get political and stuff and try and raise the integrity of this blog to heights before unthinkable. No wait, that's just me being full of shit again. Anyway, the floor is yours.

Yesterday's: ummm...

Nick:
The Evil Dead Trilogy

First film is a low budget teen horror flick that's pretty damn scary, but has it's funny moments.

Second is scary and gory as fuck, and it also gets even funnier.

The third is hysterical and bloody and violent and amazing.

The key links were the manic style Sam Raimi used before MTV style quick editing was commonplace, giving you a feeling of being jerked all over the place during the film. Plus, Bruce Campbell is the fucking man. Always has been, always will be. Bruce Campbell is one of the three coolest people on the planet.

Good Points Nick

2007-10-31T12:45:00.000-04:00

but have you seen him in the Spiderman movies? I mean seriously, even Seacrest kicked ass in Knocked Up. I had forgotten that he was in Feraks and Geeks though, and anybody from that show is ok by me...especially Linda Cardellini...wow. Special for Halloween, and totally unrelated to Linda Cardellini, James Franco, or anything that I've already talked about.

What is the all time best horror movie franchise?

I think I'm going to exclude saw which I don't really count as horror movies, they fall into the realm of psychological thriller.

Yesterday's: I've gotta give it to Nick for taking an unabashed cheap shot at Beckham. I respect that.

David Beckham won't act, because it will get in the way of his Brazilian waxes and his vaginal rejuvenation.

Also, James Franco, due to involvement with Freaks and Geeks and Knocked Up ("if this is one of those fuckin joke shows I'm not into it."), should not be cited anywhere near Paul Walker. And he was actually really good on Freaks and Geeks.

bend it like beckham?

2007-10-29T23:11:00.000-04:00

David Beckham has played in only ten matches since June 1 (2 International Friendlies, and matches for LA, although only five of them were actually MLS games, and played the full 90 in only 3 of those matches). When you compare that with the 22 games that Juan Pablo Angel (only a few months younger than Becks) played the full 90 for the New York Red Bulls over the same period of time, it seems like Beckham's days as a professional footballer may be numbered. So the question is this: Are we more likely to see Beckham booting extra points and field goals as an NFL novelty act (although not doing kickoff duty because that would involve running and maybe even hitting)? Acting in Hollywood and making James Franco and Paul Walker look like two of the greatest actors in the history of cinema? Coaching/broadcasting football in some way shape or form?

Whenever the hell I last posted: First off, I have to say, what a catch. Thank you Brett Favre, I can go to bed and not have to wonder what's going to happen in the game. The winner is Nicole, the only one to post an actual answer. And I'll even give Becca a runner-up for posting something.

Nicole:
Absolutely, without a doubt, hands down Christine. Now, to say this movie is awful (which it is) is an understatement. The car has a life of its own, attacks people, and then repairs itself overnight? Okay Mr. King, if you say so. Run out of ideas? That's too bad. Now, with that said, this movie is so awful, that it's in fact hilarious. It's actually a pretty good first date movie to rent when all you want to do is pop in some "scary" movie as an excuse to cuddle and then just start making out once you lose interest.

When did Steven King just stop trying?

2007-10-25T23:56:00.000-04:00

Today's actual question is essentially an extension of the question in the title. I was watching VA Tech hand the game to Boston College and they showed a commercial for the new Steven King movie The Mist. Needless to say it looks horrendous because he can't write worth a damn anymore, but it got me thinking about the opposite of a question I asked a few weeks back:

What is the all time WORST movie based on a piece of writing (Novel, Novella, or Short Story) by Steven King?

Yesterday: I'm going to give it to Martina, because she remembered what I forgot, she remembered to choose a beverage, and she chose beer, and I respect that.

Martina:
Michael Sourdough Sandwich.
Either The chicken pesto with provolone or the regular turkey with eveything.
I know, a sandwich is boring...but I like it simple.
If you've ever been to Michael Sourdough than you know these sandwiches are amazing. If you haven't, just picture heaven in a sandwich. I'd top it off with a beer and a massive slice of chocolate cake. It's the only food that I will drive twenty minutes out of my way to get to. And the bastards are only open on the weekdays so I never have the chance to go.

an opinion question

2007-10-25T00:43:00.000-04:00

I know I don't usually ask opinion questions, or at least I look for answers that are in the form of factual statements, even if there is nothing factual at all about what you're saying, but I'm going to change it up tonight, and you're just going to have to deal with it. First I have to give credit where it's due, this question comes from Kristin, but if you don't like it, blame me for choosing to use it. Everything is always my fault anyway.

What would you choose for your last meal?

There are some parameters here so bear with me for a second. First off, It's one meal, and it lasts the span of a typical meal so you can't have a 2500 course meal that lasts you three years. You get 1 appetizer, a soup or a salad, 1 main course with a side and a vegetable, and a desert.

Yesterday: I've gotta give it to Nick again. I actually, blasphemous though it may be, enjoyed Waterworld. Piss off in advance for any comments that any of you choose to make in regard to my last statement.

Nick:
*Looks at IMDB*

*Notes credits for Costner's latest...sees Dane Cook's name*

Yeah...it's Mr. Brooks.

Anything with Dane Cook in it is automatically worse than all the other awful shit Costner has done, because Dane Cook is an unfunny douchebag who brings shame to this entire region.

From Best of to Worst of

2007-10-23T21:52:00.000-04:00

In honor of todays release of Mr. Brooks on DVD...What is the all-time worst Kevin Costner movie in the history of movies? Things to keep in mind: there are so many to choose from.

Yesterday: Nicky

idiot comedy, but it has incredibly smart moments. And the stupid stuff is funnier stupid stuff than any other comedy in the 90s.

'Goodbye, My LOVE*crash*'

'Hey guys, Big Gulps huh? Alright. Well, see ya later.'

'Harry...you're hands are freezing'

'WE LANDED ON THE MOON'

I mean, it helps that he also had his best support in this movie (because Jeff Daniels was also incredibly funny), and the fact that this was the Farelly's at their absolute best, and I say it's no question Dumb and Dumber.

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac

2007-10-23T00:56:00.000-04:00

Cable guy is on TBS. And I'm watching it. Which brings me to my question. What is the all time best Jim Carrey movie? Interpret "best" however you see fit.

Yesterday's: I'm gonna give this one to Eileen for no other reason than the Crocodile Dundee reference. I feel like Paul Hogan doesn't get the respect he deserves on this site. I mean, he was in 6 movies, a mini-series, and made a pilot for the "Paul Hogan Show" on top of the two Crocodile Dundee movies. That's right, there were two crocodile dundee movies. Say otherwise and risk disqualification. Those were two great movies the two crocodile dundee movies. Both of the two crocodile dundee movies that they made. 2.

Eileen:

Gecko for sure. It would be like Crocodile Dundee meets Felicity. Little Gecko in the big city. The cultural differences and that accent just lend themselves to sitcom awesomeness. Well maybe not awesomeness, but better than that damn duck.

Cavemen are dead, and that show needs to go away

2007-10-21T23:41:00.000-04:00

Better TV spin off idea: The Aflac Duck or the Geico Gecko?

Whenever I last posted: I'm going to go ahead and give this one to the M's, Matty and Martina.

Martina:
Stepping on crunchy leaves. It's like that feeling you get after picking a scab, only way better.

Matty:
The best thing about fall is that:

THERE'S ONLY ONE FALL CLASSIC!

THERE'S ONLY ONE WORLD SERIES!

THERE'S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, hockey starting is great but the best thing about fall is far and away the World Series. Everyone knows that October hockey is meaningless, especially die-hard fans. It's like an extended preseason. I love it, but a Leafs-Bruins game doesn't get the juices flowing like tonights Sox-Indians game 7.

2007-10-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

Now that it is finally almost here, what is the best thing about fall?

Yesterday's: It would just be wrong if I didn't give it to Nick. I'll give Nicole a runner-up because that's kind of like Nick.

Nick:
1. Nick Hornby - I can't wait to read Slam. My favorite author alive by a wide margin.

2. Nick Efstahiou - A colleague of mine in the Nashua Solid Waste Department. Nick is about 7-8 years older than me with a family. He's a book collector, a World War I buff and a former wild man (like a total druggie and drunk) who turned his life around and is married with kids, and still retains a healthy love of hard rock (we'd end up singing Misfits songs and shit like that...his 6-year-old daughter was obsessed with Rancid). A weird but awesome dude.

3. Nick Nolte - Because of the fucking mugshot picture, maybe the greatest picture ever taken by anyone anywhere.

4. Nick Boynton - He was a solid defenseman for the Bs, and a guy who was more than willing to drop the gloves and stick up for his teammates. I just wish he didn't suck now.

5. Dr. Nick Riviera - "HI EVERYBODY"
"Hi Dr. Nick"

For the champ

2007-10-16T23:15:00.001-04:00

Because Nick is such a champ, and because it's been a week since I asked my All-Time Top 5 Joes question and I liked the way that one went, I'm going to ask you all for your all time top five famous/historical Nicks lists. Who are the all-time top 5 famous/historical people named Nick?

Yesterday's: It took me hours to choose a winner. Hours.

Nick:
I think it's definitely about name value.

For example, I think Attorney Barry Feinstein's entire quest in life is to be the most stereotypically Jewish ambulance chaser in the history of the world.

And James Sokolove has a ring that is just perfect for a televised attorney.

My favorite one is one I can't name though. It's the one where the guy who played Baxter Kane (evil owner dude) in Baseketball acts like he is in fact an attorney at law, and all I can think about is him telling Jenny McCarthy that she needs to polish his knob.

A question about lawyers

2007-10-15T21:56:00.000-04:00

We've all seen the commercials on TV for the law firms with catchy sounding names that specialize in personal injury and class action suits, and sometimes they have not only catchy names but catchy Acronyms and thus catchy 1-800 Numbers that almost make you want to call even if you haven't developed cancer due to the negligent use of asbestos, or twisted your ankle and sprained your wrist on a slurpee that some convenience store clerk didn't clean up. My question for you is this: Do those law firms choose their partners based solely on name so as to have a catchy sounding commercial, or do they take ability and experience into account as well?

Friday's: Sorry. I got lazy there for a bit. Had a lot going on this weekend. Anyway, based solely on strength of answer, I've gotta give it to Martina. Even though I love all Mexican food (which is basically all just a variation of the same ingredients wrapped up differently) and enjoy pad thai, she had the best answer. Also, I personally happen to enjoy Indian food as well as both frogs legs and escargot, but that could just be because I'm a pretentious fuck. Nickie gets an honorable mention for playing to my ethnic sensibilities.

Martina:
Mexican or Thai.
It's not that these cuisines don't taste good, it's the fact that everytime after eating these foods I just want to go to go home and rock myself back and forth in the bathroom for a couple hours. If my stomach could talk it would say, "You fucking cunt! I hate you! Why did you eat that!?" (yes, my stomache swears). Not to mention the really bad gas your going to have all night. Maybe Italians just have really sensitive stomaches. And I'm sorry, but pad thai is gross.

side note..while the french do suck at life, their food is pretty amazing. I could survive off of brie and a baguette any day. People in france don't actually eat frogs legs and escargot, they only serve it at pretentious restaurants where tourists go. (hey, that rhymed). And lets not forget french pastries...because they are AMAZING.

Olaf Kolzig is going to win the Vezina this year

2007-10-12T20:43:00.000-04:00

That has nothing to do with tonight's question, but I'm watching the Rangers game and damn, he looks solid. Anyway, what is the most overrated cuisine in the world? Not a meal or anything like that, but an actual type of food (for example you could say "Italian food is the most overrated food in the world because..." but I wouldn't recommend that as an answer, because I will come to your home and cause you severe bodily harm, maybe even kick your dog on my way out).

Yesterday's: I gotta give it to Nicky, I happen to believe that Bert and Ernie were the Jay and Silent Bob (or the Timmy and Joe) of Sesame Street. Honorable mention to the radiant Becca Chao for actually having said that to Joe and Timmy one drunken night.

Nick:
They are the Joseph Rouse and Timothy Knauf of Sesame Street.

Hetero-lifemates.

Becca:
Nick stole my answer. In fact, I clearly remember asking Joe where is rubber ducky went and why Timmy didn't have a unibrow anymore during one drunken night at 728.

Happy National Coming-Out Day

2007-10-11T11:53:00.000-04:00

In honor of National Coming-Out Day (I don't know if that's supposed to be hyphenated or not, I didn't even know it existed until I saw it on AIM today) I have the following question to ask:
Were Bert and Ernie gay? Or just really good friends?

Yesterday's: I'm going to go with JMC on this one, and here's my rationale: I don't know if Fredo is so much bitter or just a passive agressive little bitch, Gollum was pretty bitter, and i like that choice too, so I'll give Becca an honorable mention, Navin I don't think was all that bitter either, just a jerk, like you said Martina. But Jack Nicholson doesn't get nearly enough love on this sight, and I can't think of anyone more perfect for the answer to this question. So there ya go.

JMC:
Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) in "As Good as It Gets"

Unfortunately, if you've seen the movie, he reforms... but he was great while it lasted.

From IMDB.com:

Carol: You're going to die soon with that diet. You know that, right?
Melvin: Oh, we're all going to die soon. I will, you will, and it sure sounds like your son will.

Fuck you Nick

2007-10-09T21:51:00.000-04:00

It must be nice to be a fan of the only team in the AFC east who wouldn't lose to The University of Southern Florida right now. Hell, most of the AFC east would probably lose to App. State, which means that if nothing else they could at least give Michigan a run for their money. I hate you and your pretty boy quarterback who throws the ball more than ten yards accurately and your receivers who catch the ball, and your offense that scores points. I'm bitter and jealous.

In honor of my whelming bitterness (it's not overwhelming, but it's close) who is the all-time best bitter movie character? For the sake of fairness, I'm going to take Rob Gordon off the ballot, because otherwise whoever posts first would be the winner.

Yesterday's: Phoebe should post more often, because her posts are always great. But then, maybe she just doesn't post when she knows her answer won't be great.

In no particular order:

Joe Schmoe -- most talked about guy when you don't really know who you're talking about.

Joe Camel -- that crazy cigarette smoking (and then cancer-getting) camel who tried to convince kids everywhere we could be as cool as him by smoking. because all kids idolize camels...

Joe Conrad -- Russian born guy who didn't even learn English until his 20s and still managed to write "Heart of Darkness," one of my favorite books, which then became the movie Apocalypse Now, which, among other notable achievements, wins the award for best use of Vagner.

Joe of Bethlehem (husband of Mary) -- successfully duped all of humanity into thinking they didn't have sex before marriage, making people think Jesus was a product of immaculate conception and, thus, the son not of Joe but of God. This led to the creation of Christianity, which, in the long run, completely altered Western history and, more immediately, really, really pissed off the Jews.

Joe Rouse -- One half of college's best party-throwing duo. And he doesn't look half bad in a dress. (...He looks all the way bad.)

Throw Joe under the Bus

2007-10-08T23:46:00.000-04:00

Hooray! The Wicked Witch is dead and now it remains to be seen whether or not George Steinbrenner will stick to his word and fire Joe Torre. In honor of Joe, who are the all-time top 5 famous Joes in history?

Yesterday's: I've decided that I hate the prospect of this movie so much that I'm not going to choose a winner. Matty, Vern Troyer would be an awesome Elroy, and O-Train, it's a bold decision to have an interracial Jetsons, and I respect your boldness, although I don't know how much I agree with the call on that one. Anyway, I hate you both for answering this question, and I hate myself for asking it. And I hate MNF for taking so long, because I want to put on the post-game press conferences and see if Joe gets his pink slip delivered to him at the microphone, or if George is at least going to be courteous enough to wait until tomorrow. But mostly I just hate live-action remakes of great cartoons. Wow, Buffalo is like Jets bad. The AFC East Sucks.

Cartoons on the brain

2007-10-07T20:25:00.000-04:00

Even though I'm morally opposed to live-action remakes of classic cartoons (as well as live-action versions of Dr. Seuss books, although that has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on this question), I have to ask this one because I think it's a good question and because, quite frankly, I don't have another question to ask for tonight.

Who would you cast as the main characters for a live action Jetsons movie?

Things to consider: This movie is likely to suck, so keep that in mind when choosing your cast because you'll either have to make up for the awfulness of the movie with big names and pretty faces, or embrace the awfulness and cast terrible actors and actresses accordingly; Haley Joel Osment is too old to play Elroy; there will need to be a voice over for Astro; there is the slim possibility of a Judy Jetson nude scene if it will help boost ticket sales.

Yesterday's: Matty, because he's right, Madden does seem like the tender type.

This is an easy one. I hate Joe Buck. He deserves to die for being a terrible broadcaster, liking the Yankees, AND tarnishing his father's good name. Now this is where it gets tricky. I feel like Barry and I would have a lot to talk about since we both love hockey, but I don't think he'd treat me as good as Madden would. Barry would probably go out and cheat on you. You can't trust a guy with a mullet, but you can pretend their a woman, so I'd fuck Melrose. That leaves me with John Madden to come home to every night. He would make me turduckin for Christmas and drive me to work in his bus. Plus, he's way famous and you'd get the new Madden game free every year. Sure he's annoying, but you could just nod your head and say "OK, John" and go back to whatever you were doing.

They Sell Roofies at CVS?

2007-10-05T18:39:00.000-04:00

I wish you would have told me this before Matty. It would have saved me a lot of time and effort. I'm not going to argue with you about whether or not they stock it at CVS, because, let's face it, if anyone would know, it would probably be you.

Anyway, Matty's weekend plans aside, on to today's question.

It's a "Kill, Fuck, Marry" question and here are your choices: John Madden (the football commentator, not the hockey player), MLB on Fox's Joe Buck, and the NHL's own mullet-sporting Barry Melrose. Have fun.

Yesterday's: All I can say is, you guys are all filthy, disgusting human beings, and I love every one of you for it. I've gotta give this one to Becca though, on the strength of the ace bandages, especially because I can think of something to do with 5 of them, but I just can't imagine what Becca has in mind for the sixth. A nod to Martina to for the banana.

Becca:
Cheez-Wiz (CVS carries it, I guarantee), a teeny bopper fan magazine, six Ace bandages, laxatives, batteries, and a disposable camera.

Price Check on...uh...hmm

2007-10-03T19:07:00.000-04:00

Alrite, so I'm standing in line at the Drug Store today and the guy in front of me--probably 19 or 20 years old--is trying very awkwardly and unsuccessfully to hide a box of condoms in between a pack of gum and a pack of pens. He's fidgeting with them and trying to make sure that no one else standing around can see them, like he doesn't realize that the checkout girl is still going to see them when she has to scan them, like he really believes that she won't even realize what she's scanning if they're sandwiched between gum and Bic pens. But it got me thinking:

What is the most awkward/creepy combination of products that a person could buy along with condoms at an average drug store?

Last two days:
Sequel:
As bad as Caddyshack 2 was, I don't think it sullied the Caddyshack name nearly as much as Batman and Robin did, so I give this one to Nick. By the way the movie that inspired this question was The Next Karate Kid starring future Academy Award winner Hilary Swank.

Remake:
This one goes to Becca, Bad News Bears the remake was appallingly bad. Bad News Bears would make my top five at number five though, behind 4. The live action 101 Dalmations with Glen Close 3. Planet of the Apes 2. The Pink Panther (Why Steve Martin, WHY?) 1. Psycho (I still can't believe the amazing names that are associated with this piece of shit film: Gus Van Sant, Vince Vaughn, Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, Viggo Mortensen)

Nick:
I'm gonna go with Batman and Robin. The first one with Keaton was awesome, the second was decent and the third (with Kilmer) was meh.

The fourth one was without a doubt the worst movie I've ever seen. Awful fucking writing, neutering George Clooney (who, in a decent movie, would make a fucking awesome Batman). Awful performance by Uma Thurman. Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze was one awful pun after another. Alicia Silverstone was terrible and useless as Batgirl. I can't stress enough how much I hated the dialogue too. It was beyond terrible.

But the worst part of the movie was the insanely awful, stupid, whiney cunty performance by Chris O'Donnell. He was the most annoying character I've ever seen in any movie. Just a total bitch cunt. I wanted to find him and hunt him down after I saw this, especially because he was the main draw for the girls I went to see this with. The fact that he's a BC guy is entirely unsurprising to me. He probably should've been barred from ever acting again after this movie.

Fuck Batman and Robin.

(Also, Godfather III should be immediately disqualified, because although not nearly measuring up to the standards of the two greatest films ever released, it wasn't a horrible movie if it stands alone. I know it's not worthy of the Godfather name, but Pacino was still damn good, and even Andy Garcia was decent. Plus, Calo killing the boss with his glasses was badass enough for that movie to get some credit.)

Becca:
Bad News Bears. I loved the original with Walter Matthau, but Billy Bob Thornton scares the everliving crap out of me.

Along the same lines as last night

2007-10-02T21:51:00.000-04:00

What is the all-time worst remake in movie history?

I was thinking about asking this one as a top five, but I decided against it because it's kind of a pain in the ass. Also, I'm going to leave last night's question open for another night just so that we can determine worst sequel and worst remake on the same post.

Because sometimes you just need to know when to stop.

2007-10-02T00:22:00.000-04:00

I was at a loss for a question for today until I was flipping through the channels and came across a certain horrifically bad sequel and it inspired me--who would have ever guessed that a terrible sequel could inspire anyone, but it did, i swear. What sequel sullied the reputation of an otherwise perfectly good movie series beyond repair? In other words, what is the worst ever installment to a set of movies ever to appear on the big screen? A movie so bad that you refuse to acknowledge that it was ever made because, well because the other movies were so good that you just can't bear to acknowledge it? No straight to DVD sequels is the only regulation.

Yesterday's: I've decided to just go ahead and choose my top 5 out of yours instead of choosing just one winner.

Matty:
Left Tackle: Rosie O'Donnell. Fat, butch lesbian who hates men? I think she'll do just fine protecting Donovan's back (as long as he doesn't make fun of her haircut, right Mr. Trump?)

Nick:
Left Guard - Nick Cardamone - I have very quick feet and balance, and sometimes surprising strength for a midget. Plus, then I could stay fat and not feel guilty about it. As far as my fame..just give it a few years bitches. (<----lies)

Martina:
Center: James Gandolfini (or the guy who plays who Big Pussy Bonpensiero). I mean...it's the Sopranos. don't mess.

Martina (even though she had him at tackle, I moved him over one because I just couldn't leave this one out):
Right guard: Meatloaf. When he was in "Fight Club" with the man boobs. "this is bob. bob had bitch tits."

Nick:
right tackle - Kirstie Alley - I'd put one of those pie on a stick things hanging from her helmet in front of her facemask and then tell her go go get it, then just send a running back following her.

Swiss Cheese

2007-09-30T23:06:00.000-04:00

Not my favorite by a long shot, but the most appropriate way to transition from the last question about cheese to tonight's question about the Eagle's Offensive Line.

For anybody watching Sunday night football, it is painfully obvious that the Eagle's offensive line died in a fiery tragic plane crash and has been replaced by the cheerleading squad for the local pop-warner team. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create a new, celebrity O-Line for the Philadelphia Eagles. Celebrities must be alive presently (Which unfortunately means that Elvis in his final, fat years is not an option, nor is the Buddha) and for those of you who don't know Football that well, they should be fat, that's kind of the idea of an O-Line.

Yesterday's: I'm going to give the co-champs to Nick and O-Train. I can eat Ricotta straight out of the container by the spoonful, and provo is wildly underrated.

O-Train
I'm voting for provolone because it hasn't been mentioned yet, and it's underrated as a cheese. It can be mild or incredibly strong, and is fantastic on veal, chicken or eggplant parm.

Also, it was immortalized in an episode of The Sopranos where Silvio Danta (Steve Van Zandt) is losing at poker, and one of the underlings is trying to sweep a piece of cheese away from his feet in the middle of the game. He says, "Leave the fucking cheese there, all right? I love fuckin' cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning. Alright? Now leave the fucking cocksucking cheese where it is! Here, here, here. (Throws cheese from his plate onto the floor) Go ahead! Have a good time!"

Nick:
It's gotta be ricotta, because it's used in cannolis AND can be used for lasagna and stuffed shells and stuff like that.

Game over, it's a cheese that can be used in Italian desserts and meals. It literally may be the most perfect thing ever to appear on this planet.

a food question

2007-09-27T00:26:00.000-04:00

What is the best kind of cheese?

Cheeses to consider: Cheddar, Jack, Pepper Jack, Pecorino Romano, provalone, mozzarella, edam, brie, ricotta, american, parmesan, limberger, swiss.

Yesterday's: I'm going to declare matty and nick co-winners for taking different views on this question, but i agree first and foremost with nick that politics are generally pretty worthless, hooray anarchy. Becca gets an honorable mention for just wanting to make sure that nick wasn't the only one to answer. No offense, but Kerry was a worthless candidate and, as a republican, I wish like hell the democrats would put up a worthwhile candidate because it would mean that we might have to as well. Show me McCain.

Nick:
It's funny...I'm liberal, but I kind of hate the Democratic Party. It continually churns out these shitty Presidential candidates (Gore - I wrote in McCain, Kerry - I voted for Kerry, and then sighed because I didn't think he was all that great) and doesn't even manage to fight all that well. Basically, the party as a whole is a bunch of pussies. Too bad 98% of the Republican Party is pure evil, and god knows we don't want that. I mean...this is a party that supports, wholeheartedly, the idea that George Bush was a better leader than John McCain. It's truly incredible.

As for the biggest political blunder, I'm gonna go back to Nixon sending guys into the Watergate Hotel. He was gonna win, there was no doubt, and yet he couldn't help himself because he was just a devious control freak. Asshole killed his own career without it being necessary.

(Also, I chose this over any wars, because I think wars are blunders that transcend politics...many of them are blunders of humanity, on both sides...also, Matty took Vietnam).

Politics, and politicians suck. All of em. They're blood suckers more concerned with the next election than doing anything right. Anarchy in the US.

Matty:
Vietnam. Iraq is divisive and bad, but the national and international turmoil that Vietnam caused will be hard to replicate. Becoming involved in the first place was a bad idea, but as soon as we invaded Cambodia it was all downhill from there. There was no reason for us to be there in the first place and caused irreparable damage to our international reputation. The blow to the national pysche was bad enough, but the after effects have been worse than Eric Lindros's post concussion syndrome.

nobody else ever had breakfast for dinner?

2007-09-25T21:09:00.001-04:00

Well fuck you guys then. I'm gonna have Nick over for Freedom Toast (because DQD is a patriotic web site) and none of you are invited.

Speaking of being patriotic, what is the biggest political blunder in US History?

Yesterday's: Nick is the self proclaimed Bill Belichick of DQD. I'd accuse him of stealing signals from other people to get an edge, but who would he be stealing them from?

Nick:
French Toast. Basically because that's what my dad would make whenever my mom wasn't home to make dinner for the night when I was growing up. The man makes a solid french toast.

I subscribe to Mitch Hedberg's description of pancakes, "At first you're all excited, but by the end, you're fuckin sick of em.", and eggs never did the trick for me.

Cereal works too, but that loses it's novelty when you're 26 and eating cereal because you're too poor to go grocery shopping and you can't cook shit beyond Annie's mac and cheese anyway.

It says here breakfast anytime

2007-09-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

I'll have the pancakes in the age of enlightenment. We've all done it, in fact, i'm doing it right now: What is the best breakfast food to eat for dinner?

Yesterday's: Based on strength of answer alone, I've gotta give it to Monty. Honorable mention to Cardamone because: 1. Nicole did fuck us over that game and 2. He got in a cheap shot on Matty before the buzzer. Matty is DQed because there is no board, and Nicole is DQed even though she didn't answer because she fucked Nick and I over the last time we played Trivial Pursuit.

Monty:
Clearly the classic game of medieval warfare: Chess.

Systematically and strategically marching your force from one end of the battlefield to the other... Meeting your opponent head on, always looking for his weak point while fending off his attacks, waiting for that one vital mistake that leads to victory. Sweet, sweet victory. And always so pure.

Chess doesn't require the luck of the dice or a drawn card. It takes superior intelligence to plot your attack while still defending your territory. When was the last time you had to worry about the Cannon busting up your hotels and using the Racecar for a getaway?

Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points

2007-09-23T21:17:00.000-04:00

What is the all time best board game ever?

Things to consider: This is not a "loosely defined" type of question. If there is no board, it is not a board game.

Yesterday's: 3rd Place Nicole 2nd place Becca 1st place Nick if for no other reason than that I want everyone else to have the same awful mental picture that I have of Cardamone in boxers that have nothing but a thread holding together the undercarriage.

Nick
If it's a shirt you wear with a full t-shirt underneath, it takes 3-4 weeks for it to be considered dirty.

But a t-shirt worn with only skin or a wife-beater underneath can only be worn once or twice before it's considered dirty.

Underwear is a one time thing, unless you're really desperate, in which case it can be turned inside out and reused. Also, in order to delay laundry, going to the store and buying more boxers is definitely a valid alternative.

Socks worn for more than 25 minutes cannot be reused.

Also, old underwear in the bottom of the drawer which is clean, but may have holes that stretch across the entire undercarriage are completely acceptable on laundry day.

Also, it's very much acceptable on a football day to not shower if you've committed to watching at least 8 hours of football, and in that case, that's two day clothing...all of it.

a triumphant return

2007-09-21T13:04:00.000-04:00

O-Train is Back!!!

Does laundry have various degrees of clean and dirty (a la Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters II) or is there a clean/dirty dichotomy?

Yesterday's:

O-Train:
Dagos call KY "olive oil."

Oh, and another thing:

Why did God invent gold chains?

So the Italians know where to stop shaving.

hmmm...

2007-09-19T23:04:00.001-04:00

You know what, i'm going to ask the question that I did yesterday and have it be the actual question for tonight...if there's no k and no y in the italian alphabet, what do italians call KY?

Yesterday's: I've gotta call this one a tie. Two of my favorite people chose two of my favorite movies and two of my favorite one liners.

Nick said...

There are lots of great ones, but I have to go with Blazing Saddles. Cleavon Little was brilliant as Black Bart...his way of laughing off the idiots' racism was hysterical, and his ingenuity was fantastic. Add to that great performances by Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, the dude who played Hedley Lamarr, Alex Karras as Mongo and of course Mel Brooks and you have a great cast.

Plus, the one-liners...

"Hey where the white women at?"

Just does a great job of being fucking hilarious and at the same time exposing the idiocy of racism.

September 18, 2007 7:38 AM

Becca said...

Young Frankenstein. This movie will be funny FOREVER. As with all Mel Brooks films, there is a fantastic cast and hilarious writing. Brooks is a master of satire, and Young Frankenstein (Fronkensteen!) is his masterpiece.

Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!

If there's no y or k in the italian alphabet

2007-09-18T00:38:00.001-04:00

then what do Italians call KY? I love Boondock, but that has always bugged the shit out of me too that the head of the family in that movie doesn't even have a real Italian name.

What is the All-time best Mel Brooks movie?

Yesterday's: I'm going to give it to Martina with a runner-up to Nick for bringing up the whole "Yakavetta" thing. Also, hooray more posts.

Martina:
I have three.

Center Stage.
The Mighty Ducks.
Fear.

Center Stage is so bad it's good. And they used Jamiroquai's "Canned Heat" before Napoleon Dynomite did. Ballet dancers + Peter Gallagher's amazing eyebrows equals 1.5 hours of amazingness.

The Mighty Ducks was the first movie that graced me with the genius of Emilio Esteves (unfortunately, I had not been introduced to the Breakfast Club until years later). It's definitely not in Sandlot terrritory, but this movie was my childhood and made Joshua Jackson my first celebrity crush.

Lastly, there's Fear. It wasn't till recently when I watched it on some shitty cable movie channel when I realized, "Holy Shit! That's Gil Grissom!" And basically anything with him kicks ass. And let us not forget the roller coaster scene with the Sunday's "wild horses" playing in the background. That soundtrack was damn good.
Nicole 4 Eva.

Nick:
Ahh, the only kind of competition I'm equipped to consistently win...an unopposed one (hey, I'm kind of like this year's Michigan team, huh?)

As far as a movie I'm ashamed to admit I love, I'm gonna go with two.

The Boondock Saints: Saw it when I was either a high school senior or college freshman, loved the hell out of it. Bought it, watched it a ton, realized that every time I watched it I noticed things I didn't like about it. It's not a very original movie, it's not particularly well-acted (Norman Reedus goes from California to Irish accent constantly...Flannery's better) and it was made by an incredible douchebag (watch the documentary Overnight for the proof of that). I mean, when a movie rips off Tarantino, it's really ripping off even more, older movies, and that's what Saints does. In addition, the idea that they have an Italian man named 'Yakavetta' bothers me more every time I see it. There's no goddamn 'y' or 'k' in the Italian language...it just looks lazy to have that. Basically, Saints is a movie of style over substance and it's not that good.

All that said, I still love watching it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Red Dawn: The Russians invade the US during the Cold War. Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey, the kid who played Leif Garrett's buddy in The Outsiders and some random hispanic kid go insurgent. With supporting turns by Harry Dean Stanton (AVENGE ME!!), Powers Boothe and the guy who played the editor in Lois and Clark (kill me now for referencing that show...I don't know if I've ever felt more ashamed) as the mayor.

Just a fucking brilliant tale of paranoia during the 80s, and the first PG-13 movie ever. This movie is just too good, from the opening scene of paratroopers landing to the really, really hacky voice over at the end, I can watch Red Dawn anytime, anywhere.

I'm glad Nick still checks these

2007-09-17T01:07:00.000-04:00

What is the all-time best movie that you're ashamed to admit you love?

Friday's: Oh so many to choose from. His list does resemble mine though, especially the first three.

Nick:
This will be mostly dark, but nice people really don't interest me. I understand how they think and can see why they think that way.

1. Adolf Hitler - Obviously he's evil as hell, but he is interesting as hell also.

2. Josef Stalin - The amount of people he had killed is staggering.

3. Brian Wilson - He was fucked up in the head, yet created some of the most beautiful and pleasing music ever for the Beach Boys.

4. John Cazale - Because he had the greatest stretch of movies ever. The Godfather, Godfather II, The Conversation, Dog Day Afternoon and The Deer Hunter, before dying waaaay too young of lung cancer. Every film he ever acted in was nominated for Best Picture, and he acted with the incredible heavyweights, Pacino, Brando, DeNiro, Streep...

5. Scarlett Johansson - Because there's nothing not interesting about them titties.

The big 100

2007-09-14T13:11:00.000-04:00

Who are the top 5, most intriguing public figures of the last 100 years?

Yesterday's: Even though I kind of disagree with him, I've gotta give it to Nick because he's the only one who answered. I personally was thinking Japan circa 1941, Russian olympic athletes on every steroid immaginable to man (pre-olympic random drug screening and the fall of the iron curtain) and/or police in unmarked cars (because if that's not fucking cheating, i don't know what is).

Nick:
It's in the question today. If the Patriots hadn't been cheating, they'd never win. Tom Brady would be Jake Plummer, Belichick would've been fired, the Pats would still be a losing team. It's obvious that they were cheating worse than any other team in the history of all sports.

(And no, there's no sarcasm whatsoever in that response, really.)

Number 99

2007-09-12T23:17:00.000-04:00

I should do a Gretzky themed post, but I'm not. In light of the fact that the New England Patriots are no officially cheaters, I have to ask, who is the biggest cheater (are the biggest cheaters) in history? Doesn't have to be sports history, just history in general.

Yesterday's: I give it to Martina with an honorable mention to Scheity

Martina:
The Real World!

This is the true (fake) story of seven strangers
picked to live in a house (that they don't pay for)
and have their (sex) lives taped.
To find out what happens
when people stop being polite
and start being duchebags.
The Real World.

The first few seasons were pretty interesting, but now it's all the same...young trashy obnoxious alcoholics running around like chickens with their heads cut off, humping anything that has a pulse. It used to be kind of funny, but now it's just pathetic and annoying.
MTV sucks.

Scheity:
The CBS Nighttime News.

as we near 100 episodes

2007-09-11T20:08:00.000-04:00

This is the 98th post of the new incarnation of Question of the Day, and as we near the 100th post I was going to ask what was the best show to be canceled before its time...but the answer to that is Arrested Development, so instead, today's question is What show currently on television has really overstayed its welcome? What show has lasted way too long and just needs to go away?

Yesterday's: My favorite thing about football season is that "border-line alcoholic" ceases to be a viable category and instead people just call you a "sports fan."That's why I've gotta give it to nick for pointing out how amazing this time of year is for sports fans, even though he forgot to mention that it also represents the beginning of Soccer Season (Serie A, English Premiership, Champions League). Honorable mentions to the girls.

Nick said...: Damn man, I just love those Sundays sitting on the couch, watching the early games and watching the incredible combo of size, speed and violence come together in this amazingly athletic way.

The fact that from 1 pm till about 11:30 pm, there's about an hour of time during the day when there's not a game going on, and you can just sit there and watch these guys sacrifice a lot in order to win game sis pretty incredible.

Plus, when football season starts, it means you're that much closer to hockey season starting and the beginning of the baseball playoffs. It's one of the best times of year.
Michelle said...: The wings...

...and the crisp autumn air
Nicole said...: Boys suddenly leave you alone, cause they have a place to be a couple nights a week.

the fooooose-ball is evil

2007-09-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

What is the best thing about football season?

Yesterday's: You all bring up some interesting points, i usually watch south park, and like nick i very rarely listen to an entire album anymore either, but I'm going to answer my own question and declare myself winner anyway.

5. The Lemonheads - It's a Shame About Ray
Self indulgent? Yes. But I think it's a shame when I wake up and have to pay the penalty for my self-destructive lifestyle.
4. The Eels - Daisies of the Galaxy
so mellow, it might actually be better when you're hungover than when you're not
3. Chris Isaak - Baja Sessions
Also a phenomenal album to listen to on the beach, or while hooking up with someone
2. Pete Yorn - Music for the Morning After
The name says it all.
1. Elliott Smith - Either/Or
I really want to post the entire lyrics for the song "Say Yes," the last song on the album, as an argument, so I will.

I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after
We broke up a month ago and I grew up I didn't know
I'd be around the morning after
It's always been wait and see
A happy day and then you pay
And feel like shit the morning after
But now I feel changed around and instead falling down
I'm standing up the morning after
Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
And I could be another fool or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after
Crooked spin cant come to rest
I'm damaged bad at best
She'll decide what she wants
I'll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows and you see how it is
They want you or they don't
Say yes
I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
Who's still around the morning after

How many days was last night?

2007-09-09T18:43:00.001-04:00

Alltime top 5 albums to listen to when you are hung over as shit? Go.

Yesterdays: Fuck Apple.

Matty:
reak it down. Problem with the phone company? It's related to either bills or service, but there's not a lot they can do for you . . . you signed the outrageous contract for crappy service. Electric company? If they screw up, they'll audit it and admit they messed up (at least they did at my house in CO when we got $1500 bill for one month . . . guess they typed one too many zeroes). Cable companies are a close second. They try and screw you at every turn, getting you to buy something by not telling you how much it is and then having it cost $25 a month extra. Plus they hit you with bullshit charges for calling. Total bastards. The winner and all-time champion of shitty service is Apple. Considering they have the portable audio player market covered, if you call about an iPod you can go fuck yourself. They could care less about you and htey know you're locked into buying a new one. Sure, there are other choices out there but the second you buy something from iTunes you're locked in, and they know it because you can't play the song or movie any other way. Ever have a problem with iTunes? I have. I've never called a company that knew so little about their own program. Unvelievable. Oh, your iPod broke? Ok we'll fix it . . . oh, there's a tiny ding on the back. You're screwed. Fuck you, Apple. If I hadn't spent $1000 (at least) in your crappy online store, I'd have a Zune by now. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't switch because I hate my iPod, but because I hate Apple. They've become everything they bitched and moaned and filed in federal court that Microsoft were. Fuckers.

High Fidelity the Musical equals auto DQ

2007-09-07T14:40:00.000-04:00

That means you O-Train. I refuse to acquiesce to matty's request to DQ Nick though because let's face it, I love Journey, but they deserve to be fair game.

Who is a bigger pain in the ass to deal with: The electric company, the cable company, the phone company, or Apple Customer Service?

Things to consider: It was very hot in my apartment last night with no air conditioning because a billing mix-up led to my power getting shut off (It also meant that I couldn't post a new question). It was fairly painless today getting it turned back on, though.

Yesterdays: I give it to the M's. Michelle wins, Honorable mentions to Matty and Martina.

Michelle said...: This is an incredibly tough question. For some reason, Streetcar Named Desire got me in high school. It's a classic and made me cry... I know, strange. I just felt so badly for Blanche's character - she's just so sad.

As far as musicals go, Les Miserables (back when it first opened...when it was GOOD) is definitely up there. When I saw it at age 10, I fell in love. It was so powerful and so beautiful and moved me to tears at only 10 years old.

Then I saw it again in middle school and it was awful. Why it left and then came back to Broadway is beyond me.

Finally, I think I also have to vote for Avenue Q. I saw the original cast and it was AWESOME! Finally an ORIGINAL idea on Broadway (well a spoof on sesame street sorta, but original enough) with every song hysterical. Not only that, it ends on such an uplifting note and one that applies to all. I think I might have to say Avenue Q is the best.

That's all I can say right now. Totally lacking any ability to be articulate and intelligent. I wouldn't be surprised if this entry is filled with typos and awkward sentences.... "I'm so aaaawwwkward!!!"
martina said...: Death of a Salesman. Such a well written and sincere character studay.
Regarding musicals, it's a tie betweem Les Miserables and Phantom.
If dance counts, then I will also have to mention Romeo and Juliet. It would make sense to say the play by Shakespeare, but the ballet is actually a lot better oddly enough. Sorry, I'm kind of a ballet whore.

Matty said...: Phantom of the Opera. WAY better than Cats and has been around for a long time, too. The music in it is unbelievable and no show I've been to has impressed me more than Phantom has. There's something awesome about having the lights go down and the organ theme blasting throughout the opera house. Simply amazing.

I'd like to give a runner-up nod to Tchiakovsky's Nut Cracker. You talk about something being critically acclaimed and being around for a while . . . great theater with some amazing athletes (I don't care what anyone says, ballet performers are absolutely athletes and could probably beat the crap out of a lot of baseball players. Think about it, they toss people around . . . unreal).

I move that Nick be DQ'd for once again ripping on Journey and people who like Journey. The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin' . . .

Back to school, Back to school

2007-09-05T22:20:00.000-04:00

To prove to dad that I'm not a fool

I'm feeling literary/dramatic

What is the best play in the history of theater? (musicals count)

Yesterday's: I love both trivia and pool, I don't know if trivia counts as a "traditional" bar game but why not, it's definitely my favorite, and plus those were the only two real answers so I give it to Nick and Martina. Bonus points to Martina for the Paul Newman reference

Nick:
Trivia. Mainly because I'm the fuckin balls when it comes to trivia. I've been on such a good run of trivia, that I haven't been on a team that finishes outside the money in well over a month, and this is going, on average, twice a week.

Trivia provides you the chance to actually win some prizes while your drinking, whether it's money (Ts) gift certificates (Our House, White Horse) or water guns and slushie makers (also Our House).

And like I said, I like games I'm good at, and as Nicole can attest, for some reason, my general state of retardation clears up whenever someone's asking me to risk points on answering random questions at a drinking establishment.

Martina:
While trivia is very fun, especially when your drinking, my vote is for pool. Not so much because I enjoy playing it, but because one of my favorite movies is "The Hustler" and Paul Newman is my favorite person of all time.

bar games

2007-09-05T00:41:00.000-04:00

What is the all time best, traditional bar game (pool, darts, etc.)?

Yesterday's: I give this one to Becca and O-Train because, yes becca, i still have nightmares about that episode of csi too, and o-train yea, that would suck to go out that way. Retroactive honorable mentions for two days ago's question to O-Train (Elizabeth Swann, Pirates) and Martina (Prince Eric, The Little Mermaid).

Becca said...

I've given this one a bit of thought (mostly while trying to think of anything that is worse than freezing in a North Dakota winter). Slowly being eaten by bugs, while suffocating because you're trapped in a coffin buried underground is the absolute worst way to go.

In fact, I'm now going to have nightmares about this. THANKS A LOT.

My second choice of "worst way to go" is being forced to watch the BC goal scored on Fields from 180 ft. away until I decide to put myself out of my misery by hanging myself with my own shoelaces.

September 4, 2007 1:13 AM

O-Train said...

Buried alive.

Thinking of the Utah miners, that's got to be the worst way to go. You're trapped, maybe with a few friends, maybe alone, and you're stuck with your thoughts. Is anyone coming to save me/us? How much air is left? How long can I live without food?

It's dark, it's cold, and it's slow. The psychological side is much worse than the physical, where you slowly drift off. You've got time and thoughts, and you are wondering if you told everyone in your life that you loved them, and if you apologized to everyone you wronged, and what'll it be like when it's all over. The psychological drama is far worse in this case, which is why it's truly the worst way to go.

Still kicking

2007-09-03T19:45:00.000-04:00

Against all odds, I survived another day. I didn't drown or get eaten by a shark while I was surfing, get struck down by the angry hand of God or a speeding drunk driver in a circa 1987 Honda Accord--you know, the ones with the with flip lights--but it got me thinking, what's the worst way to go?

Yesterday's I'm going to give it to Nick and Becca because they probably would have won even if anyone else posted, plus I agree with Nick, I'd hit Ariel when she had legs, and Becca is just awesome, especially the last line.

Becca said...: Captain John Smith, the blonde hottie from Pocahontas. He was all cocky and attractive singing swinging from ropes on the ship. Also, if Poc-a-hot-ass was willing to sell out her people and her country for him, he must have been good in the sack. Keep in mind that I'm completely ignoring the historical John Smith and only focusing on Disney's version.

He could put a little captain in me anytime.
Nick said...: The Little Mermaid when she had legs. Hot as hell.

i'm a slacker

2007-09-02T23:22:00.000-04:00

i don't think i've done this one yet.

What Disney character would you sleep with?

Yesterday's: Nick, if only because he mentioned snakes on a plane.

Lots of good choices for this one. I'm going with Samuel L. Jackson for the male side of things.

Sure he's been in a few shitty movies, but he's also been in some of the best movies of the last 20 years. People initially talked about John Travolta in Pulp Fiction , but Jackson acted circles around the gay scientologist and became the absolute anchor of what was probably the best film of the 90s. Every thing he said in that movie was fucking cool as shit, but yet his sincerity could not be doubted when he told Tim Roth, "...I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd."

He was fantastic in Jackie Brown, and solid in The Negotiator, a very underrated flick in my eyes.

Plus, he still knows how to have fun, evidenced by his work in Snakes On A Plane and his lobbying to play a part in the new Star Wars movies because he loved the OGs so much.

On the woman side, I'm gonna pick Kerry Washington. She was great in Ray as Della Bea, was pretty much the only thing that wasn't bad about She Hate Me...and oh yeah, I'm kind of completely in love with her...she's fucking gorgeous.

Also, Ray, I think as a future category (but not this weekend, because I won't be online, since I'm pretty sure wireless internet hasn't made it to Utica, NY yet), you should do all the ethnic categories, especially best Italian actors not named Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino.

(Seriously though, Ray. If you do that on a weekend I'm not around, I'll be furious.)

I had snoo-snoo

2007-08-31T01:24:00.000-04:00

I'm amazed and kind of disappointed that this one didn't get more responses from people. My personal vote goes to Futurama and the Planet of the Amazon women referring to sex as snoo-snoo and allowing Zap Brannigan to utter the title above.

Tonight's question: All time number one black actor and actress?

Yesterday's: I've gotta give it to O-Train

So many possibilities...

I have to take this one again from the great American poet Jimmy Pop who said, "power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston." It's graphic, yet funny, and downright creative.

Break it down: the female genitalia has now become the "yippee bog," the male genitalia is appropriately the "dude piston," and the entire act is that of a "power drill." It's a perfect euphemism.

Also receiving votes:
"pressure-wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle"
"cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket"

2007-08-29T21:14:00.001-04:00

Yesterday's question stands for another night, because there should really be more posts than there already are. Although the answers we already have are amazing.

from books to sex

2007-08-28T18:31:00.001-04:00

The only right answer was of course "The Dead" it's the last story in Dubliners. Oh well. Screw you guys...I'm going home.

Tonight's Question:
What is the best euphemism for sex?

DQD is Moving to Dublin

2007-08-27T19:42:00.000-04:00

Not sure whether I'm feeling intellectual or drunk, but what is the best story in Joyce's Dubliners?

Yesterday's: I'm going with a little three way here today, I'm sure Becca won't mind and I don't think O-Train or Cardamone will either. The real winners tonight, are the Irish, for blessing the world with Guinness. If you're ever anywhere where they serve "Guinness Extra Cold" do it, it's amazing. That said, I have to give a nod to Peroni because it is, after-all, la birra dei campioni. Also, Michelle, I love you for quoting south park, but you should have held onto that quotation because Michelob is a domestic beer.

Nick said...

Guinness. Better taste, great stoutness, black as hell. Watching the cascade of a pint of Guinness gets you all riled up to taste it, and then when your lips actually touch it, it doesn't disappoint in the least.

Plus, add to it that Guinness uses raw meat to add that special little bite, and you have what may be the perfect beer, period.

The only people who don't like Guinness are pussies and girls.

August 26, 2007 10:51 PM

Becca said...

Screw you, Nick.

1) I'm a girl and I love Guinness.
2) You stole my answer.

Bitch.

August 26, 2007 11:37 PM

O-Train said...

Guinness.

The original "meal in a can."

True story: I have a buddy in the Marines who once spent 2 days living off nothing but Guinness.

August 27, 2007 8:42 AM

beer

2007-08-26T21:47:00.000-04:00

Best Non-domestic beer?

Yesterdays: Fuck England. I give it to Phoebs with nods to O-Train and Michelle. Nick didn't really answer the question, but he gets a quick mention for pointing out yet another area where Wops prove their superiority over wasps.

Phoebe:
Coffee, coffee, coffee.

I could go into why I personally like it, but no one wants to read that. Plus Ray wouldn't give it to me on that argument alone.

Tea is bullshit and to drink it is un-American. The revolution and birth of our country is epitomized in that little event in Boston a few years ago when pissed off poor people said "FUCK YO TEA YOU RICH MOTHA FUCKAHS" and dumped it all in the hah-bah. If you support tea, you support colonialism and tyranny and bad teeth.

So why should you drink coffee?

Because we all secretly want to be the swank Italiano/a, sipping on the world's finest espresso while zipping through the piazzas on a new Vespa, pointing at hotties, feigning interest in the scenery, and, to the awed tourists along the way, breathing out a calm "ciaoooo."

Tea or coffee?
Nay.
England or Italy?

And the only answer is a World Cup of joe.

O-Train:
Coffee. Black.

Or with whiskey. Or Baileys. Or most any other alcohol.

Michelle:
Coffee... without question. Nothing like a morning poop to start the day right. Coffee makes that possible... or at least speeds up the process. I am a total bitch without coffee and I hate everyone. I consider coffee a cheap version of Prozac without the sexual side effects.

morning beverages

2007-08-24T22:00:00.000-04:00

Coffee or tea?

Yesterday's: I gotta give it to Becca again and to get a guys opinion in there, i'm going to give a pity honorable mention to Cardamone for making me feel bad about just how much sex he wasn't having in high school.

Becca:
I consider myself somewhat of an expert on this subject, since I see half-naked athletes every single day. (Have I mentioned that I love my work?)

Most of you would expect me to say that hockey players are the hottest, but they're not. Among male athletes, swimmers are have the absolute hottest bodies. Chiseled to PERFECTION. Abs, back, arms, ass...it's all beautiful.

The hottest female athletes are volleyball players. They're tall and have great legs and killer asses.

The best thing about swimmers and volleyball players being the hottest is that they usually don't have the egos that the athletes from the bigger sports have.

(Sidenote: The football team we were playing against last night had a defensive lineman that was 5'11" and 340 lbs. No joke.)

Chef, how do you make a girl like you more than any other guy?

2007-08-23T21:48:00.000-04:00

What sport, in general, has the hottest athletes? Feel free to comment on on men's and women's sports if you have different answers.

Yesterdays: Oh that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. Becca wins.

Becca:
Chef!

Even though he got lame at the end and wanted to have sex with children, he always gave good advice up to that point. Also...

I love his chocolate salted balls.

M-Kay

2007-08-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

Here's a fun one:

Who is the best adult on South Park?

Yesterday's: Fuck you guys for being awesome and making this really hard for me. I guess it's not your fault so much as Tim Burton's. Can I just declare him the winner? Due to my own personal biases I'm going to go with O-Train, runner-ups to Nicole and Nick because they were all good.

O-Train:
As much as I love Edward Scissorhands, it'll be my honorable mention today.

Big Fish is a magical story based around a father-son conflict and wrapped in a world that straddles fantasy and reality. If you've read the book, you'll realize just how far beyond Tim Burton took this movie, as Daniel Wallace's novel only brushed many aspects of the film. There's times in the movie where you can see Burton letting his imagination run wild. Visually it can be stunning as it tells the story of a man trying to come to grips with the stories his father told him and trying to determine what's real and what's not. The ending is fantastic, and almost every girl was crying in the theater when the lights went up.

Also receiving votes:
-- Beetlejuice ("Nice fuckin' model!")
-- Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Nicole:
Hands down, Edward Scissorhands. (Yes, the pun was intended.) Burton both directed and cowrote this beautiful, haunting film. I always like movies which ask you to suspend your disbelief, and in doing so you totally believe what they are telling you. (I am a Vonnegut fan, after all). Such is the case with this movie. Johnny Depp is awesome as the title character, the cinematography is interesting, flawless, and beautiful (think: Winona Ryder twirling in the snow), and the story itself has a heart, complete with themes of alienation, infatuation, acceptance, and love.

Nick:
I instantly change my vote, however, because Mars Attacks is his best, while Big Fish is a close second.

Jack Nicholson as the president and his wife, a crazy Glenn Close. Rod Steiger as the crazy general. Michael J. Fox as weirder Stephanopolous. Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Martin Short, Natalie Portman (looking very tasty to my then 15 year old self...I didn't realize then that her tits would never ever grow, which has always disappointed me about her) Jim Fucking Brown, the greatest football player ever, as a badass ex-boxer. Jack Black as a man named Billy Glenn and of course, topping it all, Tom Jones singing It's Not Unusual.

Absurd movie, with crazy bloodthirsty martians. My favorite part comes when the martians are holding up the device that translates their language into English. As the device says 'Don't run, we are your friends," the martian holding said device is toasting some poor soul.

The absurdity of the solution (playing Slim Whitman records that explode the martians' heads) is so brilliant, I won't even take away points for putting that ugly, unfunny hag Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie.

(I can't believe I co-signed Big Fish before I remembered this...I knew I was forgetting something brilliant that I absolutely loved.)

2007-08-21T21:26:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling kinda simple tonight:

Best Tim Burton movie?

Things to consider: I'll allow any major degree of involvement by Burton (Directed, Produced or written) but not like "uncredited animation department for TRON." If you say the 2001 Planet of the Apes remake, I might never speak to you again.

Yesterday's answer: I'm sorry, the only correct answer was "yes, yes it is" or something to that effect. Kudos to you two for seeing an awesome movie, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone else by posting your responses.

In the words of Jon Goldberg

2007-08-20T19:20:00.000-04:00

Will Superbad be our generation's Citizen Kane?

Yesterday's: Every ounce of my being is telling me to say Greenday's "FOD" and declare myself the winner (if for no other reason than the line "I'm taking pride in telling you to fuck off and die" and that's definitely not the only reason). So that's what I'm going to do, but I'll give an honorable mention to O-Train.

O-Train:

Bob Dylan - "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right"

Dylan, ever the artful storyteller, sings a song in the first person about a man who is just plain fed up with his woman's bullshit. It was once described as, "the last word in a long, embittered argument, a paper-thin consolation sung with spite."

The song begins with him saying that he'll be gone by morning, and there's no use wondering why if she doesn't know by now because "it'll never do somehow."

He describes a miserable relationship in lines like:
"But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say,
To try and make me change my mind and stay,
We never did too much talkin' anyway,
But don't think twice, it's all right."

He also shows the woman is shown to be a bitch in lines like,
"I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin', walkin' down the road,
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told,
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul."

The song ends with some of the most perfect lyrics:
"So long, honey, babe,
Where I'm bound, I can't tell.
Goodbye's too good a word, babe,
So I'll just say fare thee well.
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind,
You coulda done better but I don't mind,
You just kinda wasted my precious time"

The man is reconciling the relationship that he deems a "waste of time" by picking up and leaving before morning. Troughout the fingerpicking, Dylan maintains the same volume and tone. What's perfect about this song is that he doesn't need to scream and yell about it as his words are genuine in describing his feelings in an almost chilling way.

This song has also been covered several times. My favorite is by Social Distortion frontman Mike Ness, whose gravelly voice seems to add a little more misery than Dylan.

One more in the music category

2007-08-19T23:56:00.000-04:00

Specially requested, let's get away from misinterpreted and go straight to just a flat out fuck you song. What is the all time number one fuck-off tune? I've already got my vote.

Yesterday's: I've gotta give it to Nick. I can't think of another song as consistently misinterpreted as betterman

Nick:
Pearl Jam - Better Man
It's funny, because Ed sings this in a manner that sounds tender and loving, and people treat it as if it's some kind of loving song, like 'can't find a better man' means 'you couldn't find a better guy.'

But just look at the lyrics
'waiting, watching the clock
it's 4 o'clock, it's got to stop
tell him, take no more
she practices her speech
as he opens the door, she rolls over
pretends to sleep as he looks her over.'

Then the second verse
'talking, to herself there's no one else
who needs to know, she tells herself'

'she love him
she don't want to leave this way
she needs him
that's why she'll be back again'

This is a women who's been horrendously scarred by an abusive relationship. She's basically blaming himself for the beatings she's taken at this man's hands, but she doesn't know what she can do, because she doesn't think she can find a 'better man.' The nature of domestic violence is such that the woman often blames herself and can't bring herself to leave. This song is about that. It's a heartbreaking song, yet it may have been Pearl Jam's second biggest radio song other than Last Kiss.

Two days ago: O-Train
"Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" -- Bloodhound Gang

While this song is end-on-end sexual innuendos, it's clear that Jimmy Pop truly has deep down feelings for someone special, and the song is really just his way of conveying his intentions. He just finds a creative way of saying so:

"Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet,
Cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket,
Batter dip the cranny ax in the gut locker,
Retrofit the pudding hatch (ooh la la) with the boink swatter."

He goes on to say that he "doesn't want to beat around the bush" and continues after the chorus with:

"Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten,
Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston,
Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle,
Cannonball the fiddle cove (ooh la la)with the pork steeple."

Jimmy's dedication to finding new and alternative ways to describe a single act clearly show how smitten he is, and how his heart yearns for her affection.

Honorable Mention:
Dave Chappelle (as R. Kelly) -- "Piss On You"

Out of town again

2007-08-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

For lack of a better question and because I am once again out of town for the weekend, let's go with the opposite question...What is the best song that sounds like a touching love song, everything about it, the music, the vocals, the flow, but is in fact a giant fuck you?

I'll take care of winners for this and the last one when I get back to NY again tomorrow, I promise.

Nobody's a Tiramisu fan?

2007-08-15T20:57:00.000-04:00

I can't believe nobody said tiramisu. Really? Surprising. A few quick matters of business: Martina, I actually do enjoy Modern Art quite a bit, just not Pollack and I'm glad you agree about him. Cardamone, fuck you and the Pats. O-Train, fuck the Yankees, but may Phil Rizzuto rest in peace. Michelle, cheese fries totally would have won if the question was drunk foods, or at least come in second behind pizza.

Today's question:

What is the all-time best unexpected love song? A song that you would never pick as a love song until one day for some reason you listened to the lyrics and went, "Oh my god, this is a love song?"

Yesterday's: O-Train and Nicole both made my mouth water, I've gotta give it to the two of them with a remarkably self-indulgent nod to Matty.

O-Train:
Bourbon Shrimp Flambe.

I've been making this recipe for years. The main ingredients are 1 lb shrimp, heavy cream, bourbon, butter and tomato paste. After cooking the shrimp in the butter, you add the bourbon and set it on fire. Any 100+ proof bourbon makes this lots of fun. Remove the shrimp, then reduce the cream and tomato paste until it's a really thick sauce. Add shrimp, lemon juice, and chives, and serve over wild rice or jasmine rice. Works even better if you drink bourbon while cooking this.

Nicole:
And to answer today's question: I once had this butterscotch brandy french toast at brunch that was orgasmic. I think it was at the fireplace in Brookline. It was amazing. Lick-your-sticky-fingers good. It doesn't matter what I write anyway, it's not like you're gonna pick it - you snob! ;)

On a much MUCH lighter note...Beerios!

2007-08-14T19:52:00.000-04:00

As I sit here enjoying a delicious dinner of Yuengling Chicken (for those of you not from the north east, it's kind of like Guinness Beef stew, except way lazier and less involved), I can't help but ask you all:

What is the best alcohol imbued dish known to man?

Yesterday's: Wow, you guys got really serious on me. I expected some offensive answers, but like funny offensive...shit. Alrite, here's my logic for this one. Nicole, there's already a long list of things that I'll probably go to hell for, I'm not adding calling Jesus overrated to that list, so you're right out. Cardamone, although you're right, way too serious for me right now. Martina, correct me if I'm wrong, but The Mona Lisa was in the Louvre before Dan Brown wrote that Novel right? People have thought he's a genius for a long time and there are so many more overrated artists you could have gone with (see Jackson Pollack, possibly the most overrated hack since the invention of paint, I'd take a cave drawing any day to his "look at me look at me I'm dripping paint, i have no control over my medium" approach. If you have no control over your medium, it just means you're a shitty artist. Fuck him. He gets my vote.) Which leaves two runners-up and a new champion. Runner-ups to O-Train and (surprisingly because she picked a wop) Becca. Matty is today's champ, though.

Matty:
Susan B. Anthony. Women aren't smart enough to vote or run for president. That crazy floozy started all this nonsense about equal rights for men and women when we all know that women have a brain 1/3 the size of a man's. It's science. Because of Susan B Anthony we have those stupid crappy silver dollars which are way less convenient than a bill and men have to worry about things like "sexual harassment." It's really inconvenient and makes the work place much less fun. Good thing that glass ceiling is holding up well.

O-Train:
Sacagawea.

I not 100% sure what she's famous for, but she didn't deserve a gold coin.

Becca:
Christopher Columbus. Dumbass didn't even find the right continent. Asshat.

Continuing intellectualism

2007-08-13T21:45:00.000-04:00

Who is the most overrated historical figure?

Things to consider: No one is off limits.

Yesterdays: So wait, Mike Tyson referencing Alexander is an argument in favor of Alexander? Alex may have nibbled on a few different men's ears, but at least he never bit one clean off. Since there can be only one greatest emperor, I've gotta give the win to the Tiger Woods of DQD...Congrats Nick.

Nick:
I'm gonna go with Caesar. Napolean was a French Midget, so that really just makes him a caricature, despite his obvious skill in war. Meanwhile, it's not so much that Alexander was gay that's an issue, but the fact that eventually, Colin Farrell was deemed the best choice to play him in a movie. Farrell hasn't done a movie of relevance since he did Tigerland...maybe Minority Report.

Caesar has a couple obvious things going for him. He's Italian, which ups his badass quotient quite a bit. The Roman empire was a hugely influential empire, and I think we see a little more of that today. I mean shit, even Latin still has relevance, just look at all of its roots in our language.

Shakespeare also felt a need to take time out from writing about pussy Englishmen to write an account of Caesar's fall.

Plus, Caesar took about forty stab wounds to be killed. The man was gangsta, and he went out as such.

Something different

2007-08-12T20:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight I think we'll turn our eye toward history.

Who was the biggest badass: Napoleon, Julius Caesar, or Alexander the Great?

Yesterday's winners: I should have made yesterday's question a top 5. My 5 would have been (in no particular order) Secret Window, Stand by Me (the first R-rated movie I ever saw, plus it has Jack Bauer in it), Shawshank Redemption, The Shining and Green Mile. As things stand though, I've gotta call it a tie between O-Train and Nick. Both movies had unbelievable casts, ecxcellent writing and both nick and adam make strong cases.

O-Train
As with Nick, there are two choices for me. Since Stand By Me was already chosen, it's my Honorable Mention, giving the trophy to The Shawshank Redemption.

The Shawshank Redemption was based on King's short story "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption." Every time it's on TNT, no matter how far along the movie is, I have to stop and watch.

Andy Dufresne, a good guy who gets tagged for a double murder he didn't commit, is sent to Shawshank Prison where he's outcast, beaten, and raped. Only after some time does he make friends, take a chance by doing the taxes for the Captain of the guards, and changes start to happen around him.

Two of the most outstanding scenes are when Andy convinces the guard to get beer for the crew while tarring the roof, and when Andy plays the opera through the PA system throughout the prison yard. The roof scene, in particular, shows us Andy's true character, when Haywood asks, "You want a cold one, Andy?" and he replies, "No thanks. I gave up drinking."

We feel for Andy Dufresne, as the nice guy who is paying for another man's crime. When vindication appears in the form of a young inmate named Tommy, it's quickly stripped away by Warden Samuel Norton. Andy has had enough. After 20 years, he makes his escape. And again, the viewer feels for him. And the entire story is told through the eyes of another inmate, who happens to be the only inmate that will actually admit to his crime.

As with Stand By Me, the writing is outstanding with more than a few memorable lines:

-- "Get busy living, or get busy dying."
-- "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
-- "Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side."

But perhaps the best narrative of that movie is when Red says, "I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." I think everyone has felt that way about someone in their lives.

The movie ends just as it should, giving hope to the hopeless, and showing the triumph of the human spirit.

Nick
There are really only two choices for me, but I'll only say one, to try and even things out for the plebes and such.

I'm gonna go with Stand By Me. Four friends, all of whom are damaged in some manner, at the age of 12 go searching for the body of a young boy killed by a train. They tell stories, support each other (Especially Chris and Gordie) and they even reference my cousin (Annette Funicello).

River Phoenix was phenomenal as Chris Chambers, a kid whose Dad is a loser, his brother is a loser and he thinks that's where it inevitably ends for him. Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman and Jerry O'Connell were all fantastic as the other three boys, while Kiefer Sutherland and John Cusack were awesome in supporting roles.

There are a few lines especially that I just think are absolutely perfect.

Ace: 'You gonna kill us all LaChance?'

Gordie: 'No Ace, Just you.'

And then the final line of the thing, because it's so goddamned pitch perfect.

'I never had any friends like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?'

Regarding Nick's Continued Dominance

2007-08-11T21:05:00.000-04:00

Nick has been tearing it up lately, as a result everybody has a homework assignment for this week: find one or two of your friends and get them to start posting. Not to take anything away from Nick because his answers have just been that good lately, but some fresh blood never hurts either.

Ok that said: What is the best movie based on a piece of writing by Stephen King (because God knows there's been enough of them)?

Yesterdays: Really, nobody went for Nick Carraway from The Great Gatsby for yesterday's question? He's a tie for first for me along with Umeed "Rai" Merchant from Rushdie's The Ground Beneath Her Feet (That one I wouldn't necessarily have expected to see anyone come up with but Carraway I thought I'd see). Anyway, I give it to Nick (because the narrative style in that book is unbelievable) and Nicole (for basically the same reason). Honorable mention to Martina for Holden.

Nick:
I love the four-way narrative (Maureen, Martin, JJ and Jess) of Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down. It captures the desperation they feel when they meet and also allows you to have different views of the events of the book all while getting them froma first-person perspective.

Nicole:
I'd say for contemporary literature it's Dave Eggers' "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," if not for his title alone, then for his brazen, hilarious look at his own slice of life characterized against the setting of the early 90s. I guess that's technically a memoir.. So my fictional entry would have to be Charlie from Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." Perhaps the Holden Caulfield of our generation (as he has been referred), Charlie is the awkward, introspective kid in us all. And what better narrator, than the character who utters (or in this case writes) the words "It's strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book."

So hard to pick just one

2007-08-10T20:46:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling intellectual again today, Who is the all-time best First person narrator in the history of literature?

Things to consider: I'm not looking for an author who writes really well when writing a first person narrator, I want the character. The narrator of the story itself. (This is way more intellectual than when I asked you all which Shakespeare character you wanted to bang.)

Yesterdays: The Cardamone strikes again (That's right, he's been that good lately that he's earned the right to have the definite article attached to his name). I'm going to go ahead and throw in my own votes for, in no particular order, my top 5 (some of them have already been mentioned) High Fidelity, The Princess Bride, Almost Famous, Better Off Dead, and Finding Nemo.

Nick:
I'm gonna go with Almost Famous. (Cameron Crowe is like the king of movies that work for this, however...Say Anything would be a damn good answer too)

It's got an incredible love story, in which neither guy really gets the girl. The music is awesome, it has incredibly poignant moments.

First time I saw it, it was with a friend from home and some of her new friends like the first two weeks of my freshman year. We get out, and I was damn near choked up I loved it so much. Meanwhile, one of the other guys who was with us just said, 'that wasn't that good, just another movie about a dork.'

I mean, the fact that he's a guy, and I'm not into that, kind of precludes me from further canceling him off the list of people I'd ever want to spend time with. But if I watched that movie with a girl I was interested in (instead of with JayBruzz or Joe), and she reacted like that...it is probably the least attractive thing a girl could do.

How could anyone with a heart dislike that movie?

(On a side note and completely unrelated, has anyone seen the commercial where this evil cunt tells her guy he has to get rid of his record collection, and he in turn converts it all to MP3 form. Some bitch tells me something like that, I'm hitting her with a stack of like 20 records when she gets back, draggin her out the house and throwing all of her possessions out with her. I can't think of a more insulting notion)

I have seen it Nick, and I couldn't agree with you more.

Somewhere betweeen Sappy and Schwarchenegger

2007-08-09T18:30:00.000-04:00

What is the All-time best movie to watch with a member of the opposite sex that your interested in/significant other?

Things to consider: 1. It should be appealing to both parties. 2. I don't care if you got some during Terminator 3, it's still not going to win. 3. I don't care how much he said he liked Sweet Home Alabama...he didn't. When he stuck his face in the popcorn, he wasn't hungry, he was hoping he'd suffocate.

Yesterdays: You had me at Beta Band

Nick:
I guess this is one of those times my musical taste kinda doesn't work for me, because if I love a song, I can listen to it anytime, anywhere (thus my awesome party selections when I get ahold of the stereo)

I'm gonna go with some softer stuff in this case, a little less aggressive than I often like it. Some uplifting, some depressing.

1. The Beta Band - Dry the Rain - 'I will now sell five copies...' Fucking great song, lifts you up at the end.

2. The Beach Boys - God Only Knows - Beautiful song. Brian Wilson is the man.

3. The Beatles - For No One - may be the best heartbreak song ever written

4. Pearl Jam - Given to Fly - "a wave came crashin like a fist to the jaw/ delivered him wings, 'Hey look at me now'/Arms wide open with the sea as his floor/ Oh, power, oh ohhhh/ He's.. flying.....whole "

5. Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down - Because I like thinking about whores once I'm done with work.

High Fidelity the Musical is like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

2007-08-08T18:59:00.000-04:00

insofar as I simply refuse to believe that it ever happened.

Today's question: All time top 5 songs to listen to alone on your couch after a long day at work?

Yesterday's: Bonus points to Matty for an amazing High Fidelity reference but a minor deduction for using the word esoteric which is itself an awesome example of an esoteric word, points deducted from Nicole for bringing up the musical (because apparently we're now on a point system for DQD, who knew?). I've gotta give it to Becca because she covered everything in her answer. It was actually a complete answer. Well done. Honorable Mention to O-Train who would have tied Becca had he not started his post "Fuck Sudoku" because I happen to enjoy it after I finish the crossword.

Becca:
Each has its own merits and faults. I love Sudoku, but I hate when people say, "I don't like Sudoku...I'm no good at math." No math involved, genius.
As for crossword puzzles, a lot depends on your range and depth of knowledge. I may not know the name of any politician, but I can give you seven different synonyms for "odor."
All in all, I'm going to go for crosswords, because I feel way smarter when I finish one.

O-Train:
Fuck Sudoku. Crosswords are great at expanding your vocabulary and stimulating thought. Plus, crossword puzzles got me through several shitty classes at BU, like Chinese history and archaeology.

Well, crossword puzzles and Baileys in my coffee...

time killers

2007-08-07T20:40:00.000-04:00

Sudoku or the Crossword Puzzle?

Yesterday's winner: Nick, you're the guy, slow and steady or fast and furious, you always win, it's just the poor poor girl you're with who's the big, unsatisfied loser. I had three responses today, you're all winners in my book.

Nick said...

I've tried slow and steady...I've tried fast and furious.

I lose either way.

So fuck the race.

August 6, 2007 10:23 PM

O-Train said...

I can't compete with Cardamone, but slow and steady is a crock of shit.

August 7, 2007 12:15 PM

Michelle said...

While my initial choice would be a "move it or lose it" approach, I also believe that patience is key and with time good things will happen. However, my cynical side (the side that usually prevails) says that it doesn't matter which approach you take to win, because in reality, we're all a bunch of losers.

August 7, 2007 3:56 PM

When did everyone hop on the "fuck Team America Bandwagon?"

2007-08-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

Really, nobody went for "America: Fuck Yea"?

Does slow and steady really win the race? Or is that just a crock-o'-shit that our parents feed us to keep us from knocking over lamps and having to go to the hospital for stitches?

Yesterday's: Was it ever even a question for this one? O-train with an honorable mention to Tati for the Dickies' theme song to "Killer Klowns from Outer Space"

O-Train
The Godfather Waltz. Nino Rota's classic score is chilling while evoking an old-world charm. The first few notes are instantly recognizable, and brilliance is in its simplicity as it gradually builds from the dark, slow, almost murky origins, slowly bringing other instruments into the score as it builds up steam. The song is simply a classic.

Honorable Mention:
-- The John Williams "Exacta": Star Wars and Indiana Jones -- Both classic, readily recognizable tunes
-- "Gonna Fly Now" -- Rocky Theme -- The great motivator of all movie theme songs.

-- "Top Gun Anthem" -- Just because I can...

Tati:
killer klowns.
it's danger boy's theme song.

Dove' la vittoria?

2007-08-05T19:41:00.000-04:00

Two things dude: First off, the best national anthem is Fratelli d'Italia. Secondly, Celine Dion was not in Titanic, she just did the theme song, Kate Winslet (a brit) was in the movie and if I remember right she was the one who let go of Leo (although that part I'm not as sure of).

What is the all time best original theme song for a movie? It doesn't necessarily have to be a "theme" song provided it's original and you can make a good argument.

Yesterday's winner: I'm feeling very literal today. I've got to give it to Michelle as far as shit that comes from Canada.

Michelle:
The geese.... they shit all over the place

BLAME CANADA

2007-08-03T23:40:00.000-04:00

The song blame Canada was in fact nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song and was performed at the academy awards by none other than Robin Williams. They lost to Phil fucking Collins' 'You'll be in my Heart' from Tarzan, then promptly turned around and ripped Phil Collins a new asshole in the third episode of Season 4, just three weeks later in Timmy's very first episode (Collins is shown repeatedly waving his academy award statue around while professing his own musical genius) Oh and in case you didn't guess it already, South Park was the big winner today. But more on that later.

First, today's question: What is the worst thing to ever come out of Canada?

Yesterday's Winner: Matty. Like I said, I've gotta give it to Southpark (Matty, Martina, Michelle) with a definite nod to Cardamone's Jack Ass response. I feel like the Fugitive TV series and Movie were too far apart to really say that the TV show spawned the movie, it was more a case of revisiting and I make a distinction there that I probably should have made more clearly in the question, but oh well. By that rationale you could include The Saint with Val Kilmer, or Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise in this category and I just don't think I'm ready to do that. Same thing for including Wayne's World, All of a sudden A Night at the Roxbury is elligible for consideration and I'm just not OK with that either. Plus South Park just kinda kicks the crap out of everything else...I'm sorry. I can't help myself. That movie movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Matty:

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Saddam and Satan and they plan world domination. Terrance and Phillip in trouble for making kids swear. War with Canada. Vive la resistance. The songs are amazing, the characters are brilliant, the plot is genius. What more can you ask for? It's an amazing movie and an groundbreaking show that makes me proud to have graduated from the same high school as Matt and Trey. Ray, when choosing the best answer to today's question, ask yourself, "What would Brian Boitano do?"

drunken buffoon posing as a poet

2007-08-03T00:14:00.000-04:00

You know what I love about that line Nick, the fact that the actor who uttered it would later portray Truman Capote, who probably could have made the list for famous alkies as well.

I just saw Simpsons tonight, enjoyed it a great deal, but for tonight I want to know, what was the all-time best movie to come from a TV show?

Things to consider: Answers should be based first on the quality of the movie, then the quality of the TV show and not vice versa.

Yesterday's: Here's my reasoning. A solid argument from O-Train for the Mint Julep, but there's something very Gatsby about that drink, and I love all things Gatsby. Plus, I don't feel like it's common enough to really be all that pretentious. Martini was the most popular answer with Good arguments all around, but I've gotta give it to Nicole with an honorable mention to Nick for really embodying the spirit of the question and offering the most pretentious answer (that always gets bonus points from me).

Nicole:
The most pretentious drink I can think of is Courvoisier on the rocks or Cristal. Nothing says "nouveau riche rapper" or "white frat boy trying to be black" more than these drinks. (Interesting fact: Truman Capote was a huge Cristal fan, also a big fag, and wrote about it in "Answered Prayers." And Napoleon is said to have loooved the Courvoisier. But I digress.)

After that it's a tie between a gimlet (four parts gin and one part lime juice) and a sidecar (equal parts brandy, Cointreau, and lemon juice.) These drinks, however, have more of an "old money, smoking cigars while wearing loafers and counting your $100s" effect.

Nick:
Jack and coke

Because then your trying to be like me, and frankly, you just can't pull it off.

I love scotch

2007-08-01T20:35:00.000-04:00

Let's stick with the drinking category:

What is the most pretentious drink a person can order at the bar?

Yesterday's: If you posted, you're a winner (except for Matty). Here's my (lit heavy) list:

F. Scott Fitzgerald - This man is part of the reason why "we're going to drink like it's prohibition" is a viable phrase.

E. A. Poe - duh

Jim Morrison - Mr Mojo Risin...also duh

Van Gogh - A fan of the Green Fairy

Stephen Crane

Phoebe Loves cock

2007-07-31T21:14:00.000-04:00

Today's question:

Who are your all-time top five famous alcoholics? Your favorite sauced-up celebrities of all time?

Yesterday's winner: I have to thank Becca for the question and give her a nod for purple headed yogurt slinger, but the fact of the matter is that, for reasons beyond explanation, I just have to give it to Phoebe.

Phoebes:

Female:
Best ever: Axe wound. Double bonus for "bloody."

Also notable:
Comedy points for "cooter."
Personal favorite: taint. Where did that even come from (other than Dane Cook)?

Male:
I'm fairly sure this will come back to haunt me some day, but I'll say it anyway: I love "cock." (ha, cock; especially when substituted in to form the word "recockulous.")

And a notable mention for the sacred union of the two:

"hotdog" down a "hallway"

Becca's request

2007-07-30T22:52:00.000-04:00

What is the best ever slang term for genitalia?

Yesterday's winner: Martina

the best thing about shark week? ummm...lets see...EVERYTHING!
Summer television, for lack of better word, blows. But when I'm bored and have nothing to do, there's usually nothing on tv that can truly grab my interest. that is until 'Shark Week.' You're generally garaunteed something juicy. It's like watching 'Jaws' only real and without the bad acting (ok, the cheesy reenactments can be pretty bad, but that just adds the novelty).
Basically, I want to see teeth, blood, and carnage. Mother nature at its most ruthless brutality. Shark Week allows us to remember that we're not that invincible and all powerful, especially in the presence of a great white. shark week ruuuules.

I saw horseshoe crabs having sex this weekend

2007-07-29T17:41:00.000-04:00

Yes, on my trip to the Cape this weekend, we walked in on two horseshoe crabs getting down out on the sandbar.

What is the best thing about Shark week on the Discovery Channel?

Last Winner: As much as I love all of these wonderful words, I've gotta give it to Nick with a nod to O-Train who also chose it. Let's face it, I'll say fuck in front of my parents, I'll say shit in front of my parents, and on certain warranted occasions, I'll admit it, I've jokingly called my mom a bitch, but I don't think I would ever say cunt in front of my parents.

With apologies to fuck and motherfucker, words that entered my vocab in about fifth grade and truly changed my life for the better, I have to say 'cunt' is the best profane word in existence.

Fuck still possesses the ability to surprise, but nothing can draw a reaction like dropping cunt somewhere in a conversation. Refer to a woman as a cunt, and you've gone even further than calling her a heinous bitch, you're going for the throat. As the Charlestown Chiefs' Morris Wanchuk eloquently stated about a female soap opera character that had sold a guy's shit out from under him while he was in a coma, "That cunt is no good."

In America, cunt has retained its spot as the least used of the profanities, and it's dirtiness really inspires me. To date, I'd say it's the one profanity I'll ever pause (occasionally) before I say. But my god do I love to say it. The blunt force of cunt rolling off your tongue is a special thrill, especially knowing how destructive it can be.

mmm....cunt.

2007-07-26T17:04:00.000-04:00

Apologies for no question yesterday, there were only a few responses and I was otherwise detained.

What is the best piece of profanity known to man?

Yesterday's: Matty with an honorable mention to Cama.

Matty:
Super Mario Bros. is by far the greatest video game movie ever. John Leguizamo as Luigi, Bob Hoskins as Mario, and who could forget the beautiful Samantha Mathis as Princess Toadstool. Top it off with Dennis Hopper as King Koopa and that might be the best cast ever up until The Departed (ok, that's a stretch, but it is a pretty awesome cast).
And if you really want to put this cast into perspective and think about the hilarity of them playing these characters, consider that Hoskins has been Nikita Kruschev and Smee, Leguizamo has been Toulouse-Latrec and Tybalt, and Mathis was in Lost and American Psycho. Needless to say, Super Mario Bros was the height of their acting careers (ok, maybe not, but it's still a fucking awesome movie and the BEST. VIDEO GAME MOVIE. EVER.)

Cama:
Tron. They are IN the video game. This movie fucked with my head so much because I never quite got it, never really understood what was going on, but instead just stared open-mouthed at the screen. I couldn't tell you what the movie was about other than that they were IN the game. Also, one time when our band director was out sick, he had us watch Tron in his absence, and I could never quite understand why. Add to all that the awesomeness of the 80s, and you've got one hell of a video game-themed movie.

I personally have to go for 1989's "The Wizard" starring Fred Savage, Christian Slater, and Jeff Bridges' (star of Tron) nobody brother Beau. That kid was awesome at videogames. I wanted to be him. I kinda still do.

Yea, but in the play she's only two weeks from being fourteen

2007-07-24T21:22:00.000-04:00

A few loose ends to tie up:
- Nick, I couldn't agree with you more about Linda with dark hair. Che bella.
- Matty, your girlfriend does look about Juliet's age, I've gotta give you that one.
- Becca, I love you too. What else would I think about when I'm feeling intellectual?

Today's question:

I'm feeling much less intellectual today. Let's go movies and videogames, because I'm suffering videogame withdrawal since my x-box broke. All time best videogame related movie?

Things to consider:
This could be a movie that involves videogames in some way or other, or that is based explicitly upon a videogame.

Yesterdays Winners: I've gotta go with one winner from each side of the discussion and one overall runner-up. Nick and Becca with a nod to Cama.

Nick said...: Lady Macbeth. She'd have my back, plot to kill my rival and then we'd fuck on his throne when he's gone. Murdering bitches have to be a good lay...all kinds of desperation and kinkiness and shit.

PS) Isn't Juliet like 13? Chris Hansen may be just around the corner, Matty.

I'm just sayin.

Becca said...: When Ray is feeling intellectual, he asks what great literary character we want to shag. Fantastic. This is why we're friends.

Puck is my top choice, for various reasons. Most of all, so many of the male characters in Shakespeare's plays come with way too much emotional baggage. All this pining for women and dealing with a haunted pasts is just too much for me. Puck is the quintessential bad boy, more intelligent than many other Shakespeare characters, and probably just a little kinky. Also, being a fairy, he probably managed to avoid all of those nasty diseases going around at the time the plays were set. All in all, the best option for a good time.

Nicole said...: Puck. Kinky fairy sex in the woods. This is my kind of puck fuck. He's mischievous, so you know he'll be fun. And let's just pretend he's not fairy-sized, or better yet, I'm fairy-sized. Plus, his name is Puck, and like I always say, "If you can't sleep with a hockey player.. sleep with a puck."

Honorable mention: Othello. Jungle fever baby.

And just in case you were interested, I think I've gotta go with Cordelia from King Lear. I have no explanation, but that's who I'm going for, Cordelia.

feeling intellectual

2007-07-23T18:39:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling intellectual today:

It's a borderline opinion question, but I want to ask it anyway, so "winners" will be determined based upon quality of the answer more than personal bias. If you could only choose one, what Shakespearean character would you sleep with?

Things to consider: Ignore that whole "female parts used to be played by young boys thing" and just think of female characters as being females, and male characters as being males.

Yesterday's winner: Cardamone, you had me at Linda Cardellini. Love Freaks and Geeks and Arrested Development. Seeing as it comes so highly recommended by you, i might even have to check out the wire.

Nick:

1. People were too stupid to watch Freaks and Geeks and it was canceled after only one brilliant season. The show launched Linda Cardellini (now on ER), Busy Phillips (eventually on Dawson's Creek), Jason Segel (How I met Your Mother, Jason in Knocked Up), Martin Starr (Martin in Knocked Up) and perhaps most importantly since he starred in the funniest movie of the summer (Knocked Up) and then wrote the other funniest (Superbad), Seth Fucking Rogen.

Show had heart, it was hilarious and it was the best show about high school ever.

2. Arrested Development got cancelled because Americans are too stupid to grasp it's brilliance.

3. The Wire, which is the greatest TV show ever, and this year aired the best season it's ever had, was nominated for zero Emmys, most likely because it doesn't get huge ratings (America being stupid again), it's set in Baltimore (anywhere other than LA or NY need not apply, unless it's a soap opera set in a Seattle hospital) and it's thought of as a black show, which as much as we as white people may not like it, still is an enormous factor in America. American white people can't really watch black actors and characters doing something other than being gangsters, and while that's an element of The Wire, it's the surface of the show, not what it's really about).

Basically, the general public is too stupid to appreciate TV that's more than TV, it's legitimate art, unless it's about mobsters (and even then, most people really didn't have a fucking clue what was going on in The Sopranos...they just wanted to see greaseballs whack each other.)

Hitler has been reincarnated as a fish

2007-07-22T23:16:00.000-04:00

Barring anything reality tv related, what is the worst thing to happen to television in the past ten years or so?

Yesterday's: I've gotta go O-Train again with an Honorable mention to Becca because she gave me the title for today. The conspiracy about O-Train not being allowed to win, though clever, wasn't even as good as my crab conspiracy. Those sons-of-bitches are after me.

O-Train

The honest answer: Holocaust denial. Among the beliefs of Holocaust deniers are that the number of Jews killed were greatly exaggerated and that gas chambers never existed.

The "so bad it's funny" answer: "Paul is Dead." It was believed that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike/sound-alike. People found "clues" in their music alluding to this, such as the message "Paul is dead" which could allegedly be heard when the song "I'm So Tired" was played backwards. Also, it was believed that the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was set to look like a graveside funeral with several other "clues" representing the fallen Beatle.
Becca said...: I'm with O-Train on the Holocaust denial. It makes me so angry that people can be THAT retarded. It's like trying to deny that the sun rises everyday.

Slightly related, I saw a koi fish in Hawaii that was all white, probably 12 or 13 inches from tip to tail, with a black spot right above it's mouth. Yes, the fish had a Hitler mustache.

I pinch

2007-07-20T21:41:00.001-04:00

So for the fourth or fifth time this week, I was attacked, completely without provocation, by malicious and vengeful crab while I was surfing. I've become convinced that the crabs that inhabit the water here are plotting against me. That said:

What is the most absurd conspiracy theory in the history of conspiracy theories?

Things to consider: It should be more well known than my theory about the North Atlantic crabs and their vendetta against me. Also, unlike my theory, it should be false or at least probably false.

HEADLINE FOR FRIDAY, JULY 20:
O-TRAIN BREAKS OUT OF SLUMP

"The Barley Mow" is a traditional Irish drinking song where the sole purpose of the song is to finish an entire pint. During the song, after the line "good luck to the barley mow" everyone shouts "Good luck!" and takes a sip. The song deals with ancient measures of alcohol and people and as each is added on, the chorus gets longer and longer.

First Verse:
Here's good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow ("Good luck!" take a sip)
Jolly good luck to the quart pot
Good luck to the Barley Mow

Chorus:
Oh the quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, to the barley mow

Second Verse:
Now here's good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'
Jolly good luck to the half gallon
Good luck to the Barley Mow'

Chorus (now one phrase longer):
"Here's the half gallon, quart pot, pint pot, half a pint, gill pot, half a gill, quarter gill, nipperkin and the brown bowl
Here's good luck, good luck, good luck to the barley mow "

The following are all added through the course of the song: gallon, half barrel, barrel, landlord, barmaid, drayer, bookie, brewer and company, with some variation. "Company" signifies the last verse and time to finish your pint if you haven't already.

Singing drinking and sports

2007-07-19T17:55:00.000-04:00

What is the all-time best ever drinking song? I want to see lyrics in the answers.

Yesterday's Winners: To explain my rationale a bit, for Nick at least, Soccer is, always has been, and probably always will be my favorite sport, thus making it pretty much an automatic win, and that's why I excluded it. A nod for honorable mention though, just because you brought up the 2006 World Cup and Pippo. O-Train, nobody's in Cahoots, but you are definitely slumping. Taking cheapshots at Cardamone though is always a good way to get back on your game. Rugby? I actually find Rugby terribly boring and I can't sit through an entire Rugby match. You might have had a chance with Ausie-rules Football, because it's like Rugby except for fun and interesting to watch. The rationale behind the winners might seem a little counter-intuitive after I just called rugby boring, but I'm choosing the cricketers. That is a fun sport to watch, plus, they take tea time. How many other sports have a built in break for tea time?

Becca:
Cricket! Millions of foreigners can't be wrong! Wickets, bowlers, pitches...it's all too confusing and cool for Americans to embrace.

Matty:
Cricket, because it lasts forever and we invented a version which can be played in the basement.

Oh my God. It even has a watermark.

2007-07-18T20:28:00.000-04:00

What is the best non-American sport? I'm looking for a sport that we don't really play here in the US, or at least play with any kind of regularity, so I'll just give you the list of ruled out sports: Football, Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, Soccer, and Lacrosse. Other than that, just kinda use common sense.

Yesterday's Winners: O-Train, I respect your decision to go away from American Psycho, but you had to know that those were the answers I was going to choose. Matty wins, Martina with the runner-up

Matty:
Courtesy of IMDB, the only correct answer can be summed up in the best exchange of the best Wall Street movie:
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Patrick Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]
Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!

American Psycho, by a landslide. All I can say is why the fuck does he have a better business card than I do? Best. Wall Street movie. Ever.

Martina:
Well, you could always go for the obvious, like "Wall Street" starring michael douglas. But is it really that great of a movie...ehhh?
I know this movie doesn't technically take place on Wall Street (it's in Philly), but 'Trading Places' is probably one of the funniest movies ever about people with too much money. There is no denying Eddy Murphy's genius.
But, since it doesn't take place on Wall Street my vote goes to 'American Psycho.' The nice suites, the abundance of coke, Phil Colins and Huey Lewis and the News...not to mention the business card face-off, one of the most intelligent and hysterical scenes I have ever seen! I've become deeply frightened of investment bakers and stock brokers because of that movie.

A few matters of business

2007-07-17T17:28:00.001-04:00

1. First off, my apologies that there was no new question last night. I've been sick and went to bed (passed out on the futon) at about 9:30 last night.
2. I'm going to start posting more around this general time (usually 6:30 or 7 I guess) whenever possible because, let's face it, I'm a loser and I have to be up at an obscene hour in the morning to get myself ready for work
3. FRONT OFFICE??? What fucking front office??? I sit on the couch, get drunk, watch tv and try to let it inspire me to ask a stupid question. I'm disappointed in you my friend. The only thing I can think to say to you right now is, "I don't wanna play no more. You broke the darn car." Suck it up man. You're better than that.
4. In Cardamone's defense, Matty, robot maid or not, when was the last time you saw Fred Flintstone lift a finger to take care of house work?

Now, today's question, sticking with a business theme:
What is the best movie set on Wall Street ever, ever? What I'm going for here is a sort of business themed movie broadly interpreted. Basically, in the movie, people should wear expensive suits and always seem like they have something important to do whether it's lunch or a meeting, or whatever.

Yesterday's Winners by which I mean the winners who should have been declared yesterday:
I hate the Jetsons, I choose Cardamone and Phoebe. Plus, Rosie is a bitch, and everybody knows that Robots that can think for themselves will eventually take over the world and that only Keanu Reeves Christ will be able to save us.

Nick:
Flintstones because Wilma was a fox. Fred was one of the original fat sitcom husbands who gets to bang a woman way too hot for him, thus giving those of us fatasses hope.

Plus, I always found the robot maid to be kind of a bitch.
What can I say, between Rosie the robot maid and Fran Drescher, I just have no tolerance for the nasally Long Island maids.

They make the Boston accent seem soothing.

Phoebe:
I say Flintstones for a number of reasons, but the primary two being (1) the wit behind their name and (2) the Flintstones vitamins were the best effing vitamins I had as a kid -- Dino, the purple one, was my favorite.

Also, the prehistoric "inventions" were way cooler than the stuff on the Jetsons.

And yes Rosie the robot maid was a bitch.

Fred or George?

2007-07-15T23:45:00.000-04:00

How have I not asked this question yet? Flintstones or Jetsons?

Yesterday's winner: I've gotta give it to Matty, although everybody's lists were good.

I'm driving to work on Monday and I'll have the following on my playlist:

More Than a Feeling - Boston
Your Heart is an Empty Room - DCFC
Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
She Is - They Fray

My top 5 for a Monday morning:

Start it off low key with Jamie Cullum "These are the Days"
Follow that with STP "Days of the Week"
Paul Westerberg "2 Days til Tomorrow" because doesn't everybody feel that way on monday morning?
Foo Fighters "Cold Day in the Sun" the live version off of Skin and Bones not the album cut
Phantom Planet "Lonely Day"
And then if I could have a sixth it would be Blackpool Lights, the song is "This Town's Disaster" which only missed the top five because it didn't have the word "day" in its title.

2007-07-15T02:53:00.000-04:00

The question for today is simple:

Top 5 songs to play on a Monday morning?

Yesterday's winner: ARTEMIS? You actually said Artemis? Let's really stop and think about the logic here behind picking Artemis or I actually prefer her Roman Name Diana. All fun things happen at night...yea, but not to her because at night while her twin brother is off enjoying any chick he wants, she's guiding the moon through its course. She's Chaste! So disappointed in you Caitlin. I can't pick Athena either for the same reason, but she is bad ass. You guys had to know that there was only one right answer to this question and it was Becca's. A nod to Phoebe for having the most awesomely self-serving answer ever, choosing Phoebe. That was awesome phoebs.

Becca:
Hephaestus was a cripple.
Aphrodite married the cripple.
Ares had anger management issues.
Demeter was a hippy chick. (I know hippies...I've hated them all my life.)
Hades drew the short straw out of him and his brothers, making him ruler of the underworld.
Hera was a jealous bitch.
Zeus was a manwhore.
There are others, but I need to get on a plane in six hours, and I haven't started packing yet.

In conclusion, Dionysus is the best Greek god. As the god of wine, he's the number one guy in my book. I'd hang out with him over any of the others.

Nectar of the gods

2007-07-13T22:03:00.000-04:00

So I just drank the closest thing to nectar of the gods that I will ever lay hands upon. On a dare from Matty, I just took a double shot that was equal parts Beefeater's Gin, Jose Cuervo, Bacardi Silver, and Johnnie Walker Black Label--for those of you playing the home game that's gin, tequila, rum and Scotch--and shockingly, it was actually not terrible. Not quite Nectar, but so be it. The bet was this: If I took the shot and didn't throw-up, Matty had to buy me a six pack, if I did, I owed him a six pack. Long story short, Matty owes me a six pack. Anyway, speaking of the god's nectar:

Who is the best Greek god or goddess?

Things to consider: You won't be penalized for using Roman names, but you will for being wrong. So if you said you liked Aphrodite because she was the goddess of wisdom, you would not only be disqualified, but also most likely mocked.

Yesterday's: Cardamone, how can you hate on Masters of The Universe? I love that movie, it's vintage eighties trash. Also, Becca, your roommate is disqualified: 1) because she didn't post herself and 2) because TMNT III was based more on the 1991 Videogame, Turtles in Time, available on the Super Nintendo, than it was on the cartoons. Plus, there were two kickass Ninja Turtle Movies before the third one, so although I like to deny that the third movie ever happened, I can't accept the answer. I give it to Matty with a nod to all three girls (Eileen, Becca, and Martina) for giving quality answers.

"Any of the Flintstone movies. I can't even watch the cartoon anymore because John Goodman ruined it for me. And then they had to make Viva Rock Vegas with the WORST Baldwin (and that's saying something) as Barney Rubble. Between the two of them, I can't watch what was one of my all time favorite cartoons anymore. I'd also like to point out the Flintstone Vitamins seem to be rarer than, well, dinosaurs since they made those terrible, terrible movies."

Flawed Logic

2007-07-12T00:33:00.000-04:00

First: Matty, that is the most illogical answer to a question that you've ever given. No I will not go watch a bunch of half-naked Greeks run around by myself. I will not go to the movies by myself. I'd much rather watch almost any movie by myself in the comfort of my own place than go to the movie theater and be "that guy at the movies by himself."

Alrite, so that said, I just finished the movie, complete with notes for class, and I put away the Bonbons and box of tissues that I was crying into because, well let's face it, it's a sad movie, and it's time for another stupid question.

What is the all-time worst hollywood live action remake of a formerly great cartoon?

Things to consider: You don't necessarily have to have seen any of these movies to be appalled by everything they stand for. Underdog isn't even out yet and I die a little inside every time I think about it.

Yesterday's winner: Becca, because it was the only answer that made me feel better about myself

I don't think either is too bad. I mean, you can drive for longer than that just trying to find a parking spot. As for watching the movie alone, at least no one is around during the scene at the party when the young lovers are on either side of the fish tank and you can't help but sigh because it's so damned romantic.

I'm a loser

2007-07-11T00:06:00.000-04:00

What's more depressing: driving all over Long Island for two-and-a-half hours trying to find a copy of Baz Luhrman's Romeo + Juliet or watching said movie by yourself after you've driven around forever trying to find it?

Things to Consider:
-This question is totally hypothetical and in no way based upon events that actually occurred today.
-I needed to watch it for my summer course, Shakespeare on Film.

Yesterday's winner: Like you didn't all know this was coming, it's Eileen, honorable mention to Matty because it's High Fidelity

"Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you."
-Katie, Wet Hot American Summer

My personal choices are:

"You know Lane, we've been seeing an awful lot of each other lately, and I really think it's in my best interest to date someone a little more popular...better looking...drives a nicer car."
-Beth, Better off Dead

I need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale. Cannot be corrected. But I have no other way to fulfill my needs...Evelyn, I'm, uh, sorry, I just, uh--You're not terribly important to me.
-Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Nakedness, drunkeness, and Lunch Meats

2007-07-10T00:33:00.000-04:00

What is the all time best movie break-up line? I have a couple in mind already that I'll share tomorrow, but let's hear them, your choices for the best break-up line in movie history.

Yesterday's: So Many to Choose from, so I'll put them in what I find to be the most logical order.

Nick: Drink all the beer in your fridge before it gets warm.
O-Train: Throw now-spoiled lunchmeat from the fridge at Cardamone after he's passed out from drinking all the beer in the fridge.
Michelle: naked hide-and-go-seek.
Becca: It's a little game I like to call "Who's In My Mouth."

So everybody gets drunk, then throws spoiled lunch meat at the now passed out drunkest of the drunk, strips down for a game of naked hide-and-seek, and then when you find somebody they get to play "who's in my mouth". I wish my power would go out more often.

Just For Michelle

2007-07-08T23:38:00.000-04:00

What's the best thing to do when the power goes out? (I ask this question specifically because my power was out all day and prevented me from posting the following list earlier)

Winners for the last two weeks or so:
6/26 Martina & Eileen
6/27 Nicole
6/28 Becca
6/29 Cardamone
6/30 Martina (You had me at Christian Bale as Jay Gatsby)
7/1 Michelle & Cardamone
7/2 O-Train and Becca
7/3 Eileen & Matty
7/4 Martina
7/5 Caitlin
Yesterday: Becca (Bonus points for creativity, plus we got really shitfaced)

A question about sequels

2007-07-07T23:41:00.000-04:00

Alrite, so in a summer dominated by blockbuster sequels, what is, or will be, the best sequel of the summer?

Yesterday's: Hands down the Pro-Bowl takes it. Matty, Nick and O-Train all take home the honors, but Matty gets his post up here because he also managed to work in a cheap shot at the NBA:

When was the last time anyone watched the pro bowl? It's a waste of time and it's extremely anticlimactic after the Super Bowl. What a waste of time. Get rid of one or two exhibition games, move it to the beginning of the year, and then the answer is basketball.

I need a vacation from vacation

2007-07-05T22:13:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm exhausted, so i'll put off posting all the winners until tomorrow or saturday, but in the meantime:

Which Professional Sports' All Star Game is the biggest Joke?

Tuesday, July 26

2007-06-26T00:39:00.000-04:00

Vacation related I: Drinking

So here's the deal. I will be out of the country for the next ten days and will thus be incommunicado. Never one to shirk my responsibilities though (that's a boldfaced lie) I have provided for you a series of ten individually dated questions for each day that I will be gone (aka Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic). When I get back (July 5), I will select a winner for each day and post a list with just the names of the winners.

First Installment:

On certain occasions, It's OK to have a chick drink. Like when you're sitting on the beach relaxing. So, what is the best drink to enjoy lounging on the beach?

Wednesday, June 27

2007-06-26T00:36:00.000-04:00

Vacation Related II:

Best book to read lying on the beach while you sip away at a (insert your answer to yesterday's question here)? Or on a cruise ship sailing you from New York to the Caribbean and back?

Thursday, June 28

2007-06-26T00:34:00.000-04:00

Vacation Related III: Music

Top 5 Tunes to listen to lying on the beach with a nice cold (insert name of your answer for day one here) in your hand, while you relax and read (insert your answer for day two here)? Top five songs for the beach?

Friday, June 29

2007-06-26T00:27:00.000-04:00

Sports: Thanks to Matty for this one

Most astonishing/amazing/unbreakable record in sports history?

Saturday, June 30

2007-06-26T00:20:00.000-04:00

Movies/lit: Inspired by O-Train

Here's the scenario: You're remaking The Great Gatsby, what current actors do you cast for the major roles? The Major roles being Nick Carraway, Jay Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan, Jordan Baker, and Tom Buchanan.

One Caveat: You're casting the film as these actors are TODAY!

Sunday, July 1

2007-06-26T00:18:00.000-04:00

I might have done this one a while back when I was still doing QOD on my away message, but if I did I'm doing it again:

What is the all-time best 90's one hit wonder?

Monday, July 2

2007-06-26T00:05:00.000-04:00

Celebrity all time top 5? What five celebrities would you sleep with? Living or dead, now or then (hopefully not now if they're dead) if they're old now or dead, give me a movie or year to date them, (for example Teri Garr circa Young Frankenstein because let's face it, she was pretty hot in that movie...Roll, Roll, Roll in ze hay).

Tuesday, July 3

2007-06-25T23:54:00.000-04:00

Is it, in fact, better to laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints? Are the sinners really that much more fun?

For Wednesday, July 4

2007-06-25T23:53:00.000-04:00

TV:

What is the all-time best running Saturday Night Live sketch? This doesn't mean it needs to be actively running. Only that it can't have been a one time sketch (so no dick-in-a-box or cowbell etc.).

For Thursday, July 5

2007-06-25T23:30:00.000-04:00

Literature:

All time best war novel?

Wow

2007-06-25T00:08:00.000-04:00

Sweet. That was awesome, was that question just that much better than the day before's? (That's not the question for today, hypothetical only, and I'm pretty sure I already know the answer).

In the drinking/movie category:

We all know certain movie character's by what they drink. We know every line of the movie (at least I do) and know exactly what our favorite character is going to order at the bar before theyeven get there, so I put it to you: what is the best signature drink for any movie character?

Things to consider: How well does the drink fit the character's personality? It doesn't matter if you like the drink or not.

Yesterday's Winners: Christ, these were a lot of good answers. Nicole, you know how to flatter me so you sneak in with an honorable mention. As for a winner, I'm torn so I'll just put what each different part of me feels.

The English Major in me: Millsy
I was trying to figure out an articulate or skillful ways to make this point. But then I remembered my judge, and I could give the worst answer ever and still be picked the winner. The answer is Apocalypse Now and the reason can be found 56 seconds into this youtube clip:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RHDjbsydWI4

Now, Ray, I could come up with a host of other reasons--principally Dennis Hopper, but also the fact that this movie took up 2 weeks of English class in high school-- but it doesn't matter. The bearded english nerd in you can't vote against Conrad and I don't know a self-respecting Italian that would vote against Brando.

The Wop in me: O-Train
"The Godfather" was recently pushed up to #2 on the AFI's Top 100 List, and Mario Puzo's novel is equally brilliant. While Puzo's novel includes a little more history (covered in Godfather: Part II and later in The Godfather Trilogy re-edit)it's an excellent story. The plot is realistic and immitates life (i.e. Johnny Fontaine as Frank Sinatra, with the movie in question being "From Here to Eternity" ). It's realistic enough to make anyone wonder how Puzo got some of the information he used to so perfectly draft this story. The movie speaks for itself.

Honorable Mention: Shoeless Joe by W.P. Kinsella...the source for "Field of Dreams."

The Music Lover in me: Becca
High Fidelity, but that is only because you convinced me.

Mostly, I tend to hate comparing movies to the books they were based on. For example, I love Fever Pitch because of the Sox connection, but it goes so far off from Hornby's book. The other thing I hate about movies based on books is that I can't read the book the same way anymore. I lose my mental image of the characters and replace them with the actors. These movies kill the reader's ability to interpret a story in their own way, which brings me back to High Fidelity. John Cusack is the fucking man. He IS Rob.